Don't worry kid, I'll help you out since I'm a nice guy like me.

Your journey has brought you here to the land of Euphorios ; it is a savage world where you are just as likely to die from the edge of a fighter's blade as you are the edge of an intellectualist's wit.

If you are going to spend time here you will need to make allies. There are many guilds strewn about, and knowing who you can trust may mean the difference between life and death.

First you've got the Knights of the White . One of the larger guilds, they spend their days looking for m'ladies to protect. They are the finest of gentlemen who want only the friendship of m'lady as their price for defending their honor against a Chad. Of course if said m'lady chose to offer more as payment a gentleman has no place to refuse.

The Afficionado Tendieso is a group I like. For the more refined gentlesir who knows the finest minds require the finest refreshments, this guild will help you pair your favorite tendies with the best Dew of choice. But beware: the guild master has an intellect that dwarfs even the most enlightened of gentlesirs. One poor kid tried to argue that Baja Blast was an inferior product and should never have been sold, and the intellectual trouncing he received was so savage the kid never fully recovered. Some say he still aimlessly wanders these lands today, a broken husk of a man with no purpose or destination.

The Glorious Nipponese are the ones you want if you are constantly aware that you are not Japanese and despise yourself for it. They know that the way to every Japanese m'lady's heart is through a comprehensive display of anime esoterica and erotica. Just know that the weapons of choice for this guild are the katana and naginata , and insulting the quality of those blades is the quickest way for one to jump off this mortal coil.

There is one other guild that is rumored of but never confirmed. Spoken of only in whispers, the Breakers of Chains are said to be a very selective club of only the best of the best. These gentlesirs are said to have secret knowledge of how to break free from the chains of the dreaded Friend Zone. Many intellectuals across the land adamantly deny their existence, as such a possibility seems as ridiculous as Chads knowing how to Triforce . But a man can dream, and even the thought of the Breakers of Chains appearing and sharing knowledge is enough to keep the nicest of guys warm at night.

There may be even more guilds out there, if you live long enough to find them.

Keep your eyes open, your blade sharp, and your mind sharper friend.







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