INFOHAZARD: CAUTION!!!

Well, I think Pope Icky Fundament, PZK hit the proverbial penis on the head when someone asked him what Discordianism is:
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Is it a religion for today? A joke for the religious? Or just a lot of fun? Who knows, who cares, why bother? Here's a phone card, call someone who gives a shit.

But that's not what I'm here to tell you. Nosiree, I'm here to tell you about the thing that's gonna help you through the turbulent First Days of the Twenty-First Century (Much Lamented). That's Discordianism. And, for the healthful among you, Discordianism Lite.

What is it, you say? Well, it's a great way to get neat things in the mail. And it's a great way to pick up girls, boys, aliens, and your occasional mushroom at parties. And it slices and dices! Does it make sense out of a constantly changing universe in which nobody is sure of their rightful place? NO! Nothing can do that! But it can make you stop caring.

"What's in it for me?" you ask, much like Donald Trump did when offered oral sex. But what you don't understand is, YOU'RE ASKING THE WRONG QUESTION! What you should be asking is, "What ISN'T in it for me?"

Ask that now.

Good thing you asked that. What ISN'T in Discordianism or Easy Listening Discordianism is Eternal Damnation! Also not in it is Guilt! Or Death! Okay, maybe you WILL die, but your memory will live on in your Wholly Writings, which can only be inspired by Eris! Eris, who inspired the Principia Discordia, the Bible, the Koran, the Talmud, and the Tasteless Jokes series! Eris the all-humorous! Be funny in the name of the Queen of Hilarity.
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However, just for fun, I'll give you a little insight as to what is in it for you. We have a long and illustrious history, a set of metaphysics that even Bugs Bunny could be proud of, a nonstandard-issue Only Begotten Son of our Goddess, a set of ethics that are so easy no one will ever try them, a wonderful set of Torot Cards with which to interpret the Pentaverse (any similarity between our cards and any others that you may find elsewhere is purely circumstantial and might not even form a reliable basis for a law suit), a nice Mandala (from the Hindu word for "Eye-Bugging Headache Generator of Many Tacky Colors") and, to keep the children out of mischief, a small Jihad.
We have other things as well, but if you think I'm going give you a nice, easy central link-hub to everything, welcome to the Discordian Society (notice the lack of link); you're stark raving crazy.