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Ernestas

Vilnius, Vilniaus Apskritis, Lithuania 

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● There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
● Jesus turned water into wine. Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
● Some magicans can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
● Chuck Norris doesn't age. He levels up.
● Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. Chuck Norris goes killing.
● When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
● Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
● Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
● Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
● Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
● Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
● Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
● Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
● Chuck Norris does not have a middle name, nobody gets between Chuck Norris.
● Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
● Chuck Norris can rounhouse kick your cell phone and kill everyone in the address book.
● Once Chuck Norris got bit by a rattle snake. After three days of pain and agony the rattle snake died.
● If Chuck Norris were to ever run out of ammo, his weapon would continue to fire out of fear of disappointing Chuck Norris.
● Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
● Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
● Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying. (M. J.)

30 Comments

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Miko Feb 28, 2013 @ 12:15pm 

"Spam, they'll get spammed"

Guzzler Feb 15, 2013 @ 2:28pm 

mano geda
http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/1117161388816976411/F687E1239660A62D5E8956893727D5D7EB9981C3/

did I ? Jan 22, 2013 @ 11:24am 

okey

NeW Jan 22, 2013 @ 10:25am 

yep, feel free to chat in my profile page

Guzzler Jan 22, 2013 @ 3:24am 

chill i got this

did I ? Jan 22, 2013 @ 1:31am 

Mus imete i div 4, is naujo week 1 reik lost

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Geras šudas :)

Leave a comment July 3rd, 2011 @ 2:28pm