122
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reviewed
3569
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Recent reviews by Lestrade 尚

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Showing 1-10 of 122 entries
27 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
1.1 hrs on record
First of all -- look at all the positive reviews... They're all 3-line reviews with similar contact, from users with ~30 products in their library. Looks like FAKE REVIEW SCAM to me. Which isn't going to help with my own impartial review.

Because really, it's a terrible game that should have checked all my boxes and ended up horrifying me on every level. The graphics are cute outside of the gameplay levels (you know, the places where it doesn't matter), and mediocre inside. The animations are too slow (it really makes matching annoying), levels seem to be completely randomized, and they're impossibly hard halfway through the game... Hard as in, "don't fear, we have power-ups for you!"... Power-ups you have to pay for, of course. Probably on the mobile version. On this pathetic port, there are no microtransactions so you're just stuck with 'lives' that take an hour or so to regenerate. Yeah, way to consider Steam players, guys.

The only way to 'fight back' is to cheat your virtual money through CheatEngine and buy as many power-ups as you can. Then you can finish the levels... Or even just skip them. Spoiler alert: I skipped only a handful of the levels as they became too annoying, and after level 53 and about an hour of actual gameplay, you get to an 'invisible wall' where the dialog explains than the evil entities known as 'developers' promise to remove it when further content is ready. The game was released on April 2017 on Android and the YouTube video conveniently stops at level 53, meaning in 6 months they haven't released a single update/level.

So... The story is unfinished, then. Not that you'll care either way. It's the most basic and boring 'adventuring' story ever, except in broken English, where the many attempts at humor only manage to generate some shame. Possibly a difference in cultures, I don't know, I'm not gonna judge. What I'm gonna judge is the awful laziness of everything else. Smells like Russian-to-English by way of Google Translate. They didn't even bother to have an English speaker double-check the quest names or 'semi-important' things like objectives or tutorial details. The frigging text overflows outside of the dialog box, I'm not kidding you, half of the time, this game sucks so much that you can't even read the end of the sent
Posted September 7.
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6 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
4.7 hrs on record
Similar to Triple Town in its gameplay and concepts (I don't care to check whichever came first), it retains the 'super cute' aspect of the former, but became boring too quickly. This isn't a bad game -- just something I'm not planning to complete because I tend to fall asleep in front of those monotonous levels. (I finished a world and a half before calling it quits.)
Posted August 28.
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5 people found this review helpful
12.3 hrs on record
I was curious about this because of the Pazudora / Puzzle & Dragons aspect. Cool, they ported that game to Steam... Maybe they shouldn't have? Guys, there's nothing natural in expecting PC users to drag through a list. No indicators, nothing, no way to use the wheel mouse. The tutorial is long and misses the point entirely-- it doesn't explain how to play the match-3 portion, which represents 95% of the game. When you realize it's close to Pazudora in spirit, you start applying the same techniques, but DKW's timer is so fast that you can't cumulate many combos in the same run-- or maybe with luck. The card art is okay, some of it's inventive, some of it's sexy, but overall there's nothing to be crazy about. The battles are repetitive, the music sucks balls. Even Pazudora's evolve system is way better. In fact, Pazudora does everything so much better, and yet I ended up abandoning it because it's really boring in the end. DKW is confusing *and* boring from the start. Maybe good for a couple battles from time to time, but not for sessions over 10 minutes.

Conclusion: Pazudora wannabe that's only interested in trying to duplicate Pazudora's success, rather than useless things like building an universe, adapting the UI to something Pc-friendly, and generally keeping us interested in the long run.

I really wanted to like this.
Posted August 21.
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6 people found this review helpful
6.3 hrs on record
Not the worst 7 Wonders game, and as a match-3 it's pretty good. The graphics are pretty good, there is some moderate amount of humor, and the gameplay is nearly perfect. I have some reservations on the drop speed of gems, and the usual chaos on screen when you reach the last couple Wonders which have too many things going on. Also, the soundtrack is pretty mediocre -- a strong negative point for casual games.

And finally, hmm... Speaking of casual, I don't understand why the casual ('Zen') mode, which is untimed and allows you to chill out, decides to punish you by preventing you from playing the bonus mini-games -- which are to casual gaming what Rick & Morty is to Twin Peaks on Sunday night: a bit of fresh air between intense sessions*. This isn't good. I'm still going to recommend, but I'd STRONGLY recommend Alien Makeover and, above them all, the excellent 7 Wonders Treasures of Seven. (I'd also recommend the unrelated, all-time great Heroes of Hellas 2 & 3. But that's just me being obsessed with their near-perfection.)

* This review will no longer be valid a couple weeks after this review was posted. I'm a rebel, living in the moment, and I have no idea what will be on TV in six months. Is it future or is it past?
Posted August 20.
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18 people found this review helpful
6.8 hrs on record
I defy anyone with eyes and a heart to dislike this game. I postponed playing this for months because I hate water navigation, and this game doesn't exactly do wonders in this area. At least Abzû doesn't require any motor skills, which is so rare these days. I would have missed out on one of the most beautiful games ever.

It's like poetry painting itself in real time. I just can't find other words.
Posted August 12.
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10 people found this review helpful
0.5 hrs on record
Is this what makes kids LOL these days? Lazy, stupid and shoddily made?
Posted August 10.
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5 people found this review helpful
0.9 hrs on record
Not really relaxing, just... different in how it inspires your gaming vibes. After the initial confusion (there's no tutorial, so on the first level I wasn't even sure what I was supposed to do), it kinda grows on you.
Kudos to the low-poly models with nice specular lights and realistic shaders. It reminds me of the work I used to do 15 years ago with limited GPU power (this was before the DirectX 9 days). So, maybe not what I came for, but it felt nostalgic for me.
The soundtrack was very meh, though. Relaxing doesn't mean the music has to be boring.

Overall, an original, interesting game, but it could have been more.
Posted August 2.
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16 people found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
2.3 hrs on record
This is how idle games should be done. It's actually more of a visual novel gone through a nerd filter and a great electro soundtrack on top. The ending is just fantastic, very 2001-ish in its visual poetry.
And you get to shoot potatoes with scientifically accurate trajectories. Who doesn't want that?
Posted August 1.
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15 people found this review helpful
10.3 hrs on record
A beautiful, original, poetic game. I found I was bored with it a few hours in though, but months later I relaunched it and got hooked again. Still, it probably won't please a majority of users, so make sure you're good at, err... typing and words and stuff.
(Also, putting your narration in written form on the ground is cool, except when you're doing it during an intense boss battle.)
Posted August 1.
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9 people found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
13.2 hrs on record
This isn't the greatest solitaire game ever made. Still, having played two terrible ones back to back, I must say this lowered my expectations in other games, so... Well, this one's lucky, I guess! The music is great but so repetitive it'll end up driving you mad. A bit. There's nothing original in here, but no major flaw either; it's an honest clone of the genre, and it does what it does: entertain when you need a quick round of cards (then another round... Okay, just one more. Oh crap it's 2am.)
Posted July 29.
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Showing 1-10 of 122 entries