Ms Serious Business

I just keep this game open to watch the jellies jiggle. Yeah bitch, jiggle faster and harder for me. I didn't pay dolla fitty for you to just lay there.

You do more than farmin' with dem hoes in this game. Put on yo cowboy hat and get ready to show these redneck heehaws how real farmin' is done...In all serious businessness, this game is a realistic portrayal and simulator of real life farming. Prepare to be wow'd by the real labor of pointing, dragging, and clicking your crops to farm enough to make enough to feed your soon to be fatass lazy waifu and possibly a couple bratty kids. Experience the serious struggles of trying to make ends meet as you spray pests off your food (NO ORGANIC SHIT GROWN HERE BUDDY) and wonder why this toothy old man keeps eyeing your ass every time you bend over to pick those tomatoes. Don't worry, he only wants to come pump your oil rig...pump it real good.

Do you play this game for the dungeoning!? YEAH! Do you enjoy the market game of buying and selling!? YEAH!! Do you play with one hand down your pants and get excited when you see their pedo smiles!? YE...GET OFF MY STEAM PROFILE/BUDDY LIST YOU SICK FUCK.

This game would have been so good if it didn't suck so bad.

In the game of Left 4 Dead 2, a good woman will learn from the special infected on what NOT to do in real life:
1) Boomer - Don't be fat.
2) Spitter - Real champs don't spit it out after they're done.
3) Jockey - No one likes clingy people.
4) Smoker - Gotta learn how to use your tongue properly.
5) Charger - Put that mutha fuckin' boyfriend's credit card down and stop that chargin'!
6) Hunter - Don't whip dem claws out every pounce on yo man every time umad.

And most importantly: the witch. STOP CRYIN' AND GET BACK INTO DA KITCHEN AND MAKE ME SOME PIE!

Everytime I play this game and look at my eyebrows, I get turned on. No wonder there are monsters in this game that do pelvic thrusts at me--dem eyebrows can conquer entire races...of diggles. HAY WIRE!

Prepare for this game to crash 1089210938210 times before you can even play it.

L O L. I can't believe someone would willingly play this game for reasons other than getting winter achievements.

Yeah, all you haters gonna hate. But you know what? Dis game got music. Dis game got EPIC VOICE ACTING. It's got faeries and magic and all dat CUH-RAAZZYYYY SHIET that makes you think...OH WAIT SHIT NO! MIND=BLOWN. I CAN'T THINK NUTTIN' BESIDES DIS GAME AMAZING IT'S AMAZZOFABULOUS!!!! Are you a bad enough dude to save all them faeries? Yeah, yeah. I didn't think so. thug life baby, THUG-LIFE.

So, in realizing that I have over 2000 hours in this game now, and I still don't have a review for the game, the only thing I can say for review is this: Sassy McHungerTits.

If you like to Chinese Gold Farmer mode in games, this is the game for you.

Do YOU want to play a game that you paid money for??? Well if that's the case, THIS GAME IS NOT FOR YOU!
The pathetic attempt to fix the bugs on release has caused a memory leak with the patch.
Now you can drive-by slapchop zombies...ONE FRAME AT A TIME.

You are not a real man unless you know how to play cricket.

Oh GOD! The epileptic seizures!

If you like Minecraft, you'll like Terraria. Similar to Minecraft because you dig, build, and fight monsters, but with some significant differences. First, this is 2D. Additionally, there is no durability on your armor/tools. Furthermore, when you die, you don't drop all your loot, only half of your money, which you can go back for. There are more monsters in this game, including boss monsters and special events like the Blood Moon that causes increase spawn/aggressive behavior. Multiplayer can make things more fun too. I like it!

Runs much better now that they patched up the lag issues. They should have had this done in the first place when it was released, instead of them putting out an un-finished product. The game is a lot of fun, but the classes lack distinction like TF2, and maps can get pretty repetitive. Honestly don't know if I'll be playing it in couple months.

Katamari Damacy rip off. Entertaining, but glitchy.

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Shit sucks. Don't buy it. Even fighting for the descendants of Kim Jong Illest doesn't save this game from the world of bad.

This game feels like TF2 meets DotA meets Tower Defense. It's fun, but the servers right now are too few in number and not stable. Hopefully they will add more servers once the game is closer to release.