71 people found this review helpful
117 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 48.9 hrs on record (9.7 hrs at review time)
Posted: Nov 21, 2015 @ 3:07pm
Updated: Nov 21, 2015 @ 3:09pm

Jesus, this game is amazing.

It's like that time when you were a kid, and you had your action figures and were all like "OH NO, ROBOT ALIENS!" and you had one in your hand and made it cartwheel in, making swoosh noises as it smashes into the ground and looks up all like "ROAR! Robot Aliens are here to destroy you." And then you grab the Master Chief action figure and he's all like "Not today, Robot Aliens!" and starts laying waste to a horde of aliens with a big laser machine gun, but then a grenade blows up next to him, and you pull off his legs and you're all like "Oh no, Master Chief!" and he's all like "Don't worry, I don't need legs to kick ass!" and you're all like "You kinda do...", but by that point there's a bunch of space marine drop pods all coming down to back him up so it doesn't even matter, and then a bunch more robot aliens start coming in and the space marines and Master Chief are just pumping lead into the main doorway, but then the bullet casings start piling up in the doorway behind them and Master Chief is like "You guys need to get out of here, or you'll end up trapped by bullet casings!" and the space marines are like "That's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stupid ass justification for a epic sacrifice scene..." and Master Chief's all like "I've definitely had worse." But by that point there's a bunch of AT-STs lumbering for the doorway, so the space marines are all like "later, brah", and Master Chief starts an epic hold out in the room, and a bunch of laser fire blows his left arm off, but he pulls out his pistol and he's all like "SUCK ON THIS, ROBOT ALIENS!" and starts shooting at the AT-STs, which is super useless but it looks really cool. Then, just when it looks like all hope is lost, an inbound robot alien dropship accidentally bumps into a wall as it tries to drop off more robot aliens and it spirals out of control, smashing into the AT-ST's and sending chunks of them everywhere. One of them hits Master Chief in the face and tears off his helmet, and with 5 HP left, as he quickly bleeds out, Master Chief gets one final moment of peace before ragdolling facefirst into a mine and getting blown to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ pieces.

10/10

(Check the system requirements because the physics modeling is CPU intensive, $20 purchase might leave you a little salty, keep an eye out for summer and winter sales, as it routinely goes down to $5, anything $10 or below will leave you with no regrets purchasing.)
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7 Comments
Ashley24371 Oct 10, 2017 @ 9:33pm 
I think this is the best thing on steam
Ltc.Walker (✿◠‿◠) Aug 5, 2016 @ 12:47pm 
Absolutely beautiful review.
imperatus May 1, 2016 @ 9:56pm 
i love getting flattened by my own dropship
Toppest of Ananas Feb 11, 2016 @ 8:04am 
10/10 can relate to
Jay the Red Jan 30, 2016 @ 6:58pm 
Best review I have every seen.
Jackyback Dec 27, 2015 @ 11:08am 
:')
orion♪ Nov 27, 2015 @ 11:47am 
amazing