Garket Mardener
Sam, Lord of Spam   Spain
 
 
They call me shitposter, but that's just a dank meme
Big WayForward fan. I mean, if you know me, this is probably the 20th time i told you this. But really. Sick shit they put out. Worth every penny.

Also i have a problem with their games' emotes please help i don't actually believe in waifuism

Update: early-mid 2017: I switched to touhou waifuposting. No, i don't have issues yet, fuck off mom.

[Profile Pic made by KamiXaqui http://steamcommunity.com/id/kamixaqui/ ]

I advocate for good games and good players. I have been trained in gorilla trashtalking warfare and i will use all of my memes to destroy you if you are a flaky cheeky cunt.

YouTube Channel
Warning: I am a dedicated, undyingly persistant waifu joke shitposter. You can still get some good maymays from it, though.
Oh and i also do montages for the jokes but eh those take more time.

Also, SoundCloud and Twitter are the literal same name.

DotA 7.0X more like Mario Party 7 lol (really it has basic issues, please what the fuck)
Currently Offline
Last Online 5 hrs, 47 mins ago
Shitposting copypastas, conversation cuts and reviews
Ducky Duck: and le idiots like me are still come backing to this shit stain game
Garket Mardener: i mean dota is supposed to be fun
Garket Mardener: but its toxic awful and just not reliable
Ducky Duck: xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Ducky Duck: dota
Ducky Duck: fun
Garket Mardener: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Garket Mardener: YEAH LMAO WHAT AM I SMOKING

Nintendo, please, for the love of mashpotato samurai, release sword autism online: no game no lyfe for the ps4. I loved other games from the manga, like Goat Simulator, and i think it's worth every japanese dollar you have. please no copy pasterino.

Listen here, kid, this is serious business. We're secret agents from the fifa in the order of the Memers, properly said former Captains of the Kush in the HQ of the Ile of Mao. You're not invited to join. We're here to gather all information you can give about our lethal enemy, the fedoralords. These subhuman inept lizard-praising scumbags make dank memes look like a kid's game, something to laugh at whose use them. Our mission is to bring keks to the entire world, and if you're not having it you're getting tagged as a fedoralord.
Have a meme to spare your time: demoman takes skill

I dream of finding the perfect girl, one which steam username would be MLGrill420, pretty good at whatever she wanted to get good at, with a car number "1337MLG", nobody on her family had noticed, but she had. A lovely, slightly messy gal with good sense of houmour and tons of love to give. Not necessarilely pretty, but if i say, black short hair with loli-ish figure. I keep hoping my best.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXEA6ZW1jMjvuy5NpPQg5A74k7mU_NsKe
Shitpost Playlist. Always more to come. ALWAYS . Maybe i shouldn't tho.
Review time! These games are awesome:
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/366970/ Mighty Switch Force HD
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/350210/ MSF Academy (MSF 1.5)
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/277890/ Shantae: Risky's Revenge
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/345820/ Shantae & TPC
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/253840/ Shantae: Half-Genie Hero
wow nice waifu man hehehehe hilarious and original amiright
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/467380/ Khimera: D.A.M.G.
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/440/ TF2 AKA Hat Simulator
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/71340/ SANIC YANARASHUNS
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/252950/ Rocket League
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/107100/ Bastion
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/346010/ Besiege
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/241600/ Rogue Legacy
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/233130/ Shadow Warrior
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/247080/ Crypt of the NecroDancer
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/224820/ S.House O' Dead Ninjas
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/322110/ 20XX (SSBMelee Jokes)
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/360740/ Downwell
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/261180/ Lethal LEL
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/40800/ Super Memeat Boy
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/495890/ Montaro the Doge
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/239800/ Bleed
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/396350/ Bleed 2
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/447530/ VA-11 Hall-A
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/311690/ Enter the Gungeon

What the fuck did you just fucking say about my waveshine, you little casual? I’ll have you know I was rated top of my region in the Anthers Ladder, and I’ve been involved in numerous spikes on scrubs, and I have over 300 confirmed gimps. I am trained in Project M warfare and I’m the top reader in the entire EVO scene. You are nothing to me but just another scrub. I will knock you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this stage, mark my fucking player inputs. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me at PAX east? Think again, lucario picker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of nintendo hackers across the world and your matchmaking's being manipulated right now so you better prepare for the JV3, maggot. The JV3 that wipes out every hope for a professional tournament you had. It's game, kid. Pack it up. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can combo you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with no customs. Not only am I extensively trained in falcon combat, but I have access to the top tier fox comboes and I will use them to their full extent to hype the crowd as you get destroyed, you little shit. If only you could have known what DESTRUCTION your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking memes. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will disrespect all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking gawn, kiddo.

The year is 20XX. Eeveryone thinks this fucking meme is funny. The competitive scene is no longer competitive since you can only understand "HANDS OFF MY PREY" and "COME ON" in every tourney every game, this furry fuckfest is never over. God help us now.

give me a P
give me an H
give me a Y
give me an S
give me an I
give me a C
give me an S
Rocket League is S T U P I D

Oh my god dude did you see that goalkeep long-off-the-wall-into-freestyle-mixup-mindgame-BM-disrespect goal? i'm so fucking good at rocket league oh god oh wow hnnggg i could cum on the spot from how good i am.

Every year, memes die from 9gag syndrome. They're abused and spammed for days.
If you donate 20 pepesos or 6700 bitcoin you can help our cause.
With your help, we'll make this slow to an appropiate rate. We'll also stop tumblr fanboys and make sure only spammable memes make it into twitch chat. You can save a meme, donate today and recieve your own mildly uncommon pepe.
"Keep the memes fresh, keep the memes dank" -MLG CEO Stephen Hawking

Garket Mardener: http://i.imgur.com/asUCRSz.png
Hiro Tanachi: http://i.imgur.com/V3uVlTP.png
Garket Mardener: FUCK

SnarkySnickers: When the pass is just right (I apoligize profusely) http://i.imgur.com/MWeTsiR.png
Garket Mardener: lts c ur grate sghietpsost
SnarkySnickers: lol
Garket Mardener: NO
Garket Mardener: N O

this is rocket league dev team :boostingcar: , and we announce that if only 20% of the community donates a small loan of a million dollars we will start un-curving Wasteland. Thank you for listening


Big Band: what will happen to the metal goddess i created
Big Band: will you take care of her
Garket Mardener: >godess
Garket Mardener: >take care
Garket Mardener: explain
Big Band: metal thighs
Big Band: cold thighjob
Garket Mardener: STOP
Garket Mardener: THIS IS TOO MUCH ROBOWAIFUSHIT

Iluminacos: given an unlimited amount of time and energy, any task can be performed through any method

BlueAura: we need to westernize this garket mashup by slowing the bpm so that americans dont get a heart attack or something

SnarkySnickers: ComPUTAdora
Garket Mardener: stop

Hiro Tanachi: sending help []||||||||
Hiro Tanachi: [][]||||||
Hiro Tanachi: [][][]||||
Hiro Tanachi: [][][][]||
Hiro Tanachi: ERROR
Achievement Showcase
1,809
Achievements
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Perfect Games
39%
Avg. Game Completion Rate

Recent Activity

133 hrs on record
last played on Jun 26
74 hrs on record
last played on Jun 26
49 hrs on record
last played on Jun 26
Ducky Duck Apr 30 @ 10:21am 
It's Happening.
SnarkySnickers Apr 30 @ 10:04am 
http://i.imgur.com/c7N8MTC.png

CONSPIRACY UNCOVERED. SWARM THIS PUTO'S HOUSE BY 2300! OUT THE DOUBLE! FORWARD MARCH! COUNTERCLOCKWISE!
John Protocol Apr 14 @ 1:03pm 
not really
❤ stephanie ❤ Apr 1 @ 5:17am 
april fools fuck you
Garket Mardener Apr 1 @ 4:58am 
wow
SnarkySnickers Apr 1 @ 3:39am 
April fools


Because you're a joke :3