Garket Mardener
Sam, Lord of Spam   Spain
 
 
They call me shitposter, but that's just a dank meme
Big WayForward fan. I mean, if you know me, this is probably the 20th time i told you this. But really. Sick shit they put out. Worth every penny.

Also i have a problem with their games' emotes please help i don't actually believe in waifuism

Update: early-mid 2017: I switched to touhou waifuposting. No, i don't have issues yet, fuck off mom.

[Profile Pic made by KamiXaqui http://steamcommunity.com/id/kamixaqui/ ]

I advocate for good games and good players. I have been trained in gorilla trashtalking warfare and i will use all of my memes to destroy you if you are a flaky cheeky cunt.

YouTube Channel
Warning: I am a dedicated, undyingly persistant waifu joke shitposter. You can still get some good maymays from it, though.
Oh and i also do montages for the jokes but eh those take more time.

Also, SoundCloud and Twitter are the literal same name.

DotA 7.0X more like Mario Party 7 lol (really it has basic issues, please what the fuck)
Currently Offline
Last Online 10 hrs, 44 mins ago
Shitposting copypastas, conversation cuts and reviews
Nintendo, please, for the love of mashpotato samurai, release sword autism online: no game no lyfe for the ps4. I loved other games from the manga, like Goat Simulator, and i think it's worth every japanese dollar you have. please no copy pasterino.

Listen here, kid, this is serious business. We're secret agents from the fifa in the order of the Memers, properly said former Captains of the Kush in the HQ of the Ile of Mao. You're not invited to join. We're here to gather all information you can give about our lethal enemy, the fedoralords. These subhuman inept lizard-praising scumbags make dank memes look like a kid's game, something to laugh at whose use them. Our mission is to bring keks to the entire world, and if you're not having it you're getting tagged as a fedoralord.
Have a meme to spare your time: demoman takes skill

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXEA6ZW1jMjvuy5NpPQg5A74k7mU_NsKe
Shitpost Playlist. Always more to come. ALWAYS . Maybe i shouldn't tho.
Review time! These games are awesome:
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/366970/ Mighty Switch Force HD
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/350210/ MSF Academy (MSF 1.5)
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/277890/ Shantae: Risky's Revenge
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/345820/ Shantae & TPC
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/253840/ Shantae: Half-Genie Hero
wow nice waifu man hehehehe hilarious and original amiright
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/467380/ Khimera: D.A.M.G.
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/440/ TF2 AKA Hat Simulator
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/71340/ SANIC YANARASHUNS
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/252950/ Rocket League
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/107100/ Bastion
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/346010/ Besiege
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/241600/ Rogue Legacy
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/233130/ Shadow Warrior
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/247080/ Crypt of the NecroDancer
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/224820/ S.House O' Dead Ninjas
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/322110/ 20XX (SSBMelee Jokes)
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/360740/ Downwell
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/261180/ Lethal LEL
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/40800/ Super Memeat Boy
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/495890/ Montaro the Doge
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/239800/ Bleed
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/396350/ Bleed 2
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/447530/ VA-11 Hall-A
http://steamcommunity.com/id/garketmardener/recommended/311690/ Enter the Gungeon

What the fuck did you just fucking say about my waveshine, you little casual? I’ll have you know I was rated top of my region in the Anthers Ladder, and I’ve been involved in numerous spikes on scrubs, and I have over 300 confirmed gimps. I am trained in Project M warfare and I’m the top reader in the entire EVO scene. You are nothing to me but just another scrub. I will knock you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this stage, mark my fucking player inputs. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me at PAX east? Think again, lucario picker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of nintendo hackers across the world and your matchmaking's being manipulated right now so you better prepare for the JV3, maggot. The JV3 that wipes out every hope for a professional tournament you had. It's game, kid. Pack it up. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can combo you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with no customs. Not only am I extensively trained in falcon combat, but I have access to the top tier fox comboes and I will use them to their full extent to hype the crowd as you get destroyed, you little shit. If only you could have known what DESTRUCTION your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking memes. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will disrespect all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking gawn, kiddo.

The year is 20XX. Eeveryone thinks this fucking meme is funny. The competitive scene is no longer competitive since you can only understand "HANDS OFF MY PREY" and "COME ON" in every tourney every game, this furry fuckfest is never over. God help us now.

give me a P
give me an H
give me a Y
give me an S
give me an I
give me a C
give me an S
Rocket League is S T U P I D

Oh my god dude did you see that goalkeep long-off-the-wall-into-freestyle-mixup-mindgame-BM-disrespect goal? i'm so fucking good at rocket league oh god oh wow hnnggg i could cum on the spot from how good i am.

Every year, memes die from 9gag syndrome. They're abused and spammed for days.
If you donate 20 pepesos or 6700 bitcoin you can help our cause.
With your help, we'll make this slow to an appropiate rate. We'll also stop tumblr fanboys and make sure only spammable memes make it into twitch chat. You can save a meme, donate today and recieve your own mildly uncommon pepe.
"Keep the memes fresh, keep the memes dank" -MLG CEO Stephen Hawking

Garket Mardener: http://i.imgur.com/asUCRSz.png
Hiro Tanachi: http://i.imgur.com/V3uVlTP.png
Garket Mardener: FUCK

this is rocket league dev team :boostingcar: , and we announce that if only 20% of the community donates a small loan of a million dollars we will start un-curving Wasteland. Thank you for listening

Iluminacos: given an unlimited amount of time and energy, any task can be performed through any method

BlueAura: we need to westernize this garket mashup by slowing the bpm so that americans dont get a heart attack or something

SnarkySnickers: ComPUTAdora
Garket Mardener: stop

Hiro Tanachi: sending help []||||||||
Hiro Tanachi: [][]||||||
Hiro Tanachi: [][][]||||
Hiro Tanachi: [][][][]||
Hiro Tanachi: ERROR

Dude, listen, my mom is an independant, reasonable adult. She can decide who to have sex with by herself. So if you really claim to have sex with her, you could go ahead and show the skills that made her decide you were a suitable partner to copulate with. However though, i'd like to present a theory in which you lack any charm necessary for that, which would perfectly allign with your lack of skill at trash talking.

I sexually Identify as Fujiwara no Mokou. Ever since I was young I dreamed of being a phoenix tomboy and dropping「Sudden Fujiwara Volcano」's on disgusting main characters. People say to me that a boy being an immortal ficticional tomboy is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m cool as fuck. I’m having a plastic surgeon give me Hourai Elixir, teach me 1300 years of hermit-tier spells, and flying perks. From now on I want you guys to call me “Moko” and respect my right to guide humans off of the cursed bamboo forest. If you can’t accept me you’re a phoenixphobe and need to check your birb privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Achievement Showcase
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Achievements
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Perfect Games
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Avg. Game Completion Rate

Recent Activity

62 hrs on record
last played on Nov 18
90 hrs on record
last played on Nov 18
2,461 hrs on record
last played on Nov 17
Garket Mardener Nov 13 @ 12:16pm 
oh no i got aids now

my last mistake was trying to stop a shitpost

OOF OUCH
sleep deprived Nov 13 @ 10:56am 
get aids kike
Largeman Nov 6 @ 2:48pm 
amazing channel
Basketbearr Sep 7 @ 8:52am 
Ur spanish,u cant sue cos corrupt
Garket Mardener Sep 7 @ 7:08am 
offended

gonna sue
Basketbearr Sep 7 @ 3:46am 
Most gay of all cucks.Pls kys