FoxyMayo's Temporal Pair-o-Socks

"What's La-Mulana?" You ask?

Well, remember in the very first Metroid game where you were wandering around caves an' ruins an' stuff, trying to find crap that was deviously hidden away, but it was still awesome and ludicrously hard?

Pretty much that. Except it has more FAQ consulting and whips and ancient ruins of civilization and with less freaky bird statues. (Well, except the Egypt-themed area...)

And it's still awesome and ludicrously hard. Go play this.

I made a stupid recommendation for this game once, but then it got updated.

Go play this or something. There's hats and rocketjumping and ten year-olds with a superiority complex.

There's also a fat guy that eats sandwiches. That's more than enough reason to play.

Oh hey, a game that gets two things right: stealth and ninjas. Awesome!

This game is the equivalent of being pissed-off while high on acid during the late 80s in an area that's subject to be ravaged by hurricanes but looks extraordinarily nice otherwise.

But seriously, this game is psychedelic awesome mixed with brutal and challenging.

Prepare to forget everything you knew about the words "bleak", "isolation", "loneliness", and "depression".

Because you're soon going to feel those words like an ice cold knife digging under your skin.

Or, in this case, a gigantic saw that's going to promptly kill you.

Because high-end, organized crimes are better than robbing liqour stores and gunning down prostitutes.

Like rogue-likes? Like massively-multiplayer games? Like games with a learning curve about as steep as a Montana? Only have five minutes? Play this.

"They say a good game has an excellent blend of story and gameplay, like the fine taste you get from mixin' Bastion Bourbon and Black Rye together. Well, lemme tell you - Bastion is one of those games. Now, it ain't a long experience, but it's sure worth the ride. A pretty smooth ride with some satisfyin' tunes and wondrous painted scenery to catch ya' eye.

Oh, but it ain't all pretty art and easy listenin' the entire ride. No ma'am. Gotcherself some bumps in that road. And by 'bumps', I mean things like Lunkheads. Though, nothin' a Cael Hammer can't take care of.

Somethin' like this should get an award for bein' such an impressive work of art. Truly a diamond in the rough amidst all these rusty colored shootas."

Oh look, ANOTHER tower defense game.

*Plays*

Oh look, a tower defense game that's actually FUN.

Seriously, stop playing all those lame, Flash-made tower defense games clogging up the 'net and pick up this one. Plus, this one is updated regularly with DLC and stuff.

This is a Rogue-like. You WILL die. And to die is to win.

This game is recommended for anyone who's been kicked in the teeth repeatedly by Nethack, IVAN, and other similar games. Because you're going to meet the same ironic fate as you have in those games.

Lutefisk!

Do you feel sadistic? Do you often wonder what it would be like to cook your enemies to a tasty perfection with a blast of fire and then riddling their corpses with a thousand icicles? Do you enjoy blowing up your friends from the inside out with a beam of concentrated dark energy, followed by laughing at their horrible misfortune? Then we have a game for you! Magicka - the ultimate in spell-tossing sadism! Whip up furious thunderstorms, fiery conflagrations, and puddles of grease while playing your way through a joyous story that's bound to leave you laughing! Lose friends in new ways - push them off a cliff, get them caught in the crossfire of a chain-lightning, or crash them to desktop! And the fun doesn't stop there! With plenty of challenges, an actual PvP game-mode (So now you can kill your friends intentionally!), and regularly released DLC, you can always be sure to get your twisted bastard fix any time you need it!

If you enjoyed mouse-clicking combat frenzy fun like Diablo, you'll probably enjoy this game. Relatively easy to pick up and play and handles very similarly to a top-down shooter. It's a fun, "bare bones" action-RPG that can be enjoyed for a few minutes or even for a few hours.

It's got the resource-gathering, building creative crap, and fun like Minecraft does. Unlike Minecraft, it has fun combat and game-flow similar to that of an Action RPG. And this also has guns.

Make something. Blow it up. Post a video to Youtube.

'Nuff said.

If you like blasting your favorite music into your ears while playing a hell-shooter, this game is for you!

Take some co-operative multiplayer action, throw in waves of zombie mutants, some class-style perks that can be raised, add a crate-load of weapons, set it somewhere in Europe, lightly season it with a metal/techno/industrial soundtrack, and a bucket of awesome. And what do you get?

This game.