This happened all because I bought Dawn of War 2 on Amazon.com , and apparently CD Keys for Steam are permanent without going through a series of incredible steps that could be described as being as easy as finding the silver key on the 4th level of quake.
So rather than deal with all that crap, I now have 2 Steam accounts. Awesome. I think. I dunno. So hopefully all of my friends will add this name, and we can start insulting me at random all over again.