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Words of Wisdom from George Carlin

Peter

Vancouver, Washington, United States

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.

So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

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