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Member since:
June 23, 2005
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Candy Corn Vampire

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Hmm...

Wendell Shelton

Zhoucheng, Yunnan, China 

Hello? Yes come in. What? No, there are no feral stoats here. Yes, I'm Sure. No, no rats either. Sir, a guest will be arriving any moment, so why don't you leave. No? You don't want to have a row with me. No I'm not threatening you. Please, put down the bat. Look, lets take this outside, if you please. Ha! I've got you now! See, now you're on the opposite side of my front door. Bet you can't hit me now. Oh.... Well, that wasn't kind to say. My mother would never do anything of that sort. Proof? What a preposterous... What? Call her? Alright! Just don't break the door. I'll call her. Will that settle things? Alright. It's ringing. Ah, damn, its engaged. Yes, I'm telling the truth. Why would i lie about something so trivial? Well that hardly... What? Kittens? If i give some kittens, will you leave? Why, may I ask? Oh. That's... That's disgusting. Can you please leave. You're already on the other side of the door, just walk away. Fine... I'll get my check book. WHAT! Im sorry sir, but I'm not prepared to give a complete stranger ₤400. Get to know you? Well, you can't expect me to befriend to a person who comes in demanding animal bits and money. Philip? Are you there, Phillip? Can you hear me? Don't speak to this man, he is a complete loony, Philip. What? How do you two know each other? Really? I told you going to the pub every day was a bad idea. Yes I'm sure he's a bad sort of fellow. He was demanding cats and said he needed ₤400. Minister of State for The Department of Health? That's a complete lie and you know it. You know what? I'm getting my shotgun. Yes, thats right, you'd better leave. Not you, Phillip. No, you do not have to leave.

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