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Sicilia, Italy
Think different.

He took plastic shit- and made it look classy. ~Penn Jillete describing Steve Jobs

If you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror. Look a little closer. Stare a little longer, because there’s something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit.

From where I was from, you see the rain before the rain even even starts to rain

Well in this one part, everyone died from the xen creatures and its just me and this one scientist. We are in a lab and the entirety of it are flooded to where the catwalk is the only place we can walk and there is a giant water-like xen creature that looks so fucking scary. He says that there is a tranquilizer gun in the shark cage above the waters and that I can kill it with a shot from it. So I grab the gun and attempt to get to the edge of the catwalk from the shark tank (Im in it atm), and all of a sudden the shark tank falls and lands in the water with the fucking scary looking 1997 graphics horror xen creature. At that point I just closed the game. ~ Bowl 2015

5:05 PM - ʙsi | egn [away]: are you there
5:06 PM - Bowlofmayo: No
5:06 PM - ʙsi | egn [away]: is this good
5:06 PM - ʙsi | egn [away]: its for my book report
5:06 PM - ʙsi | egn [away]: im not done
5:06 PM - ʙsi | egn [away]: but
5:06 PM - ʙsi | egn [away]: It started off with the Instructor screaming at us to do one hundred pushups, right there. About two hundred and twenty-ish bodies smacked down on the asphalt and began pumping. We were all dressed in our camouflauge uniforms, or BDUs. We, especially me, were all bold, excited, and nervous. We were about to get beat down, and we were loving it! The instructor didn't even leave his office. His voice was so loud and slightly-sadistic that it carried into the courtyard as he yelled at us to do more pushups, fourty to be exact. My arms weren't burning yet, but I starting hearing a strange hissing noise. I looked up to see what was going on. And got sprayed by a blast of water. Some of the instructors appeared and were working us over with fire hoses. Anyone to look up, got sprayed by water.

7:38 PM - [WS] ste@mpunkthing: mayo
7:38 PM - †Bowlofmayo†: Bitch
7:38 PM - [WS] ste@mpunkthing: what do we do to make 50 grand really quick
7:38 PM - †Bowlofmayo†: Be a male prostitute
7:38 PM - †Bowlofmayo†: Unless you got a shrimp dick
7:38 PM - [WS] ste@mpunkthing: ;(
7:41 PM - †Bowlofmayo†: Why the fuck do you need $50,000
7:41 PM - [WS] ste@mpunkthing: for a really expensive prostitute
7:41 PM - [WS] ste@mpunkthing: you see the irony now?
7:41 PM - †Bowlofmayo†: God damn it
7:42 PM - [WS] ste@mpunkthing: yeah

9:43 PM - Homeless Soldier: I found a home
9:43 PM - Homeless Soldier: I am living under your breasts from now on
9:43 PM - hH †Bowlofmayo†lfp hl Steel: I HAVE FUCKING PECKS
9:43 PM - Homeless Soldier: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
9:43 PM - Homeless Soldier: I don't
9:43 PM - Homeless Soldier: ;(
9:43 PM - Homeless Soldier: #jellyAF

Bowl: what would happen if you injected laxatives into your bloodstream
lambda: it wouldnt have much of an affect on you because you are already FULL OF SHIT

1:06 PM - alex ✿: that whole game i was rtrying to find out how to open this piece of candy
1:06 PM - alex ✿: it's like one of those pen things that squirts juice
1:07 PM - alex ✿: and it took me 10 minutes to realize i had to take off it's plastic wrap in the middle

Currently Online
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Competitive Experience

UGC HL S21 Steel Soccor Moms Demo
UGC HL S22 Silver aplbes Demo/Leader 4th place

UGC 6v6 S18 Steel Jagermeister Backup Demo
UGC 6v6 S22 Steel Love Storm Pocket
UGC 6v6 S24 Platinum Get Blasted Demo
UGC 6v6 S25 Platinum Vanilla Dice Demo/Leader 4th place


ETF2L 6v6 S27 High Peril Puppies Backup Demo
ETF2L 6v6 S28 Mid Yung Wolves Backup Demo

UGC 4v4 S11 Gold Champ the Dog Demo 6th place
UGC 4v4 S12 Gold Banananana Boat Demo 3rd place

TFCL Ultiduo S2 aplbes Soldier/Leader
TFCL Ultiduo S3 aplbes Medic/Leader 4th place

TFCL 6v6 S2 aplbes Demo/Leader 3rd place

RGL 7v7 S1 Competitive Low aplbutt Demo/Leader 4th place
RGL 7v7 S2 Competitive High Generations Demo 5th place

Recent Activity

7,236 hrs on record
last played on Nov 21
107 hrs on record
last played on Nov 20
0.3 hrs on record
last played on Nov 11
Cas! Oct 31 @ 4:41pm 
Happy halloween 🎃👻
Local Mom goes N1g mode Oct 26 @ 1:54pm 
where oh where has my mayo gone
lambino Oct 26 @ 11:23am 
Dink thifferent
dooter lft Oct 23 @ 5:12pm 
contract king
Minion Oct 11 @ 12:57pm 
do u even eat asssssssssssssssssssssusssssss
bm Oct 10 @ 11:27pm 
the demo with 1 testicle