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Gromit | KK

Profile _

Life; allow me to explain it to you

Connor Marshall

Leeds, United Kingdom (Great Britain) 

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.


NOTE: I am not religious



"My computer is bleeping. So I assume that means it doesn't like me and the swear filter is working"

Link to my YouTube Channel
Ser Quilty of Yorkshire (Tumblr)
Here is my criminal record

Comments _
You must be logged on to add comments.

 
Gromit | KK posted on November 04, 2011 @ 6:22am
Thank you! :D
 
Dani posted on November 04, 2011 @ 5:10am
<3 your TF2 server! :D
 
ferrettish posted on October 31, 2011 @ 4:00am
Okay, fun fact, I can connect to Minecraft servers now.
 
ferrettish posted on September 28, 2011 @ 1:07pm
CAN YOU GET YOUR LOVELY MAN-BUTT ONLINE PLEASE, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT BF3.
 
Gromit | KK posted on August 30, 2011 @ 6:09am
Well, ok. Fair point. I guess I don't have an excuse. Shit.
 
ferrettish posted on August 29, 2011 @ 8:33pm
HEY, I PLAY AS BROSHEP BECAUSE MIRANDA DON'T LIKE THE LADIES.


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KritzKast - Public
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The Team Fortress 2 Podkast

Everything TF2: brought together for your weekly KritzKast podcast.

The Lo-Fi Longwave hat has been given to us by Valve Software to help promote the show. Big thanks to Ruskeydoo for creating it's magnificent form.

KritzKast is the podcast for all TF2 updates, releases, maps, mods and fan content; far more than you'd think one little FPS should generate. Join us for the live recordings, every Sunday starting at 8pm (London, UK time) http://kritzkast.com/live and download the episodes to listen to at your leasure.

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Get all the info and episodic show notes on our updated website http://kritzkast.com
Go to the fan page to add KritzKast to your profile image, to find skins, poems and works made for us by you.

KritzKast have our own servers now. They have been supplied by Clanplanet.co.uk
Visit http://kritzkast.com/servers to get discount codes on your own TF2/voice server.

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Join us in game on the Official KritzKast Servers
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Endless Gaming - Public
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Games recommended by Gromit | KK _

I really like this game but I couldn't lock on to the stupid space-cake!

Leave a comment December 28th, 2011 @ 11:12am

This game has an enormous fun factor. Great voice lines, interesting and frightening monsters, and lots of decent maps. Don't listen to anybody who tells you it's a rip-off of L4D. The two games are NOTHING alike.

Leave a comment July 3rd, 2011 @ 10:31am

A thoroughly amazing game. This isn't usually my genre of game, I tend to lose interest in this sort of thing, but this is a very nice game. Well though out, well designed, utterly lovable characters. I would reccomend it to anybody and everybody, no matter what their typical choice of game is.

Leave a comment April 6th, 2011 @ 7:58am