Ramen Para Dos
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He quit binge drinking, once the price per litre went over £1.
He doesn't wear gloves, his hands actually look like that.
He is convinced that the clouds are following him.
His sweat can be used to clean precious metals.
He can drive a car backwards with his leg hair.
If he caught fire he would burns for 1000 days.
He appears on high-value stamps in Sweden.
There's an airport in Russia named after him.
Under his helmet, in fact, is another helmet.
He thought Star Wars was a documentary.
His urine is used to power Diesel engines.
He does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green scrolling down.
That when there's a really important job to do, he skives off to play croquet.
If you tune your radio to 88.4FM you can actually hear his thoughts.
That the outside of his nipples are shaped like the Nurburgring.
He once punched a horse to the ground.
His earwax tastes like Turkish Deliight.
He appears on Japanese banknotes.
His voice can only be heard by cats.
His skin has the texture of dolphins.
He drinks Shell biofuel for breakfast.
He has no understanding of clouds.
He naturally faces magnetic north.
He sleeps upside down like a bat.
He eats brake pads for breakfast.
His first name is really is 'The".
He is more machine than man.
He is illegal in 17 U.S. states.
His favorite food is raw meat.
His heart ticks like a watch.
He doesn't sleep, he waits.
He was raised by wolves.
All his legs are hydraulic.
He can "accumbularate".
He is wanted by the CIA.
He is confused by stairs.
His politics are terrifying.
His tears are adhesive.
He invented the wheel.
He's Mac compatible.
He is scared of bells.
He can see oxygen.
Gravity obeys him.
He has no age.
All we know is... he's called the Stig'
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