I'M KILLING PEOPLE WITH HATS!





Hiya, pal!

You call me "pal?" Why, I haven't heard that word for years. Ya know, bub, I was was once a tramp like you.

Oh, congratulations!

Ah, but it wasn't always thus. I can look back to the days of yore when I was a very happy married man. Then one day that rat came and destroyed forever all the happiness I'd ever known. I'll never forget that day. I just came home from the graveyard shift... And there was the note on a pillow.

What did it say?

Oh, it was one of those cold-blooded notes. "Dear Moe, I'm running away with Larry." I was obsessed with the idea that I must find him. The trail led me to Pittsburgh … I found that I'd missed him by three days when I got there. And I swore right there in Pittsburgh I'd find him and have my revenge. Now on with the chase … Miami! Dallas! New Orleans! And then I came face to face with the rat that had ruined my life. It was in Niagara Falls… Niagara Falls!! Slowly I turned, and step by step, inch by inch, I walked up to him and I smashed him! I hit him! I ripped him to pieces! And I knocked him down!

Take it easy, buddy, take it easy!

Excuse me, kid. It's that word Niagara Falls! Every time I hear it, it tears me apart!

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