Spooky Verkäuferin
Joshua   East Lake, Florida, United States

UGC - [ugcleague.com]
ESEA - [play.esea.net]
Team History
-HL Steel s14《⋰》[AP]《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-HL Steel s17《⋰》SiC《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-HL Iron s18《⋰》L²《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-HL Steel s19《⋰》pF《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-HL Steel s21《⋰》VnD《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-6s Iron s18《⋰》FtQ《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-6s Iron s20《⋰》6*S《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-6s Iron s21《⋰》PID 《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-6s Silver s22《⋰》D+G《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-6s Silver s23《⋰》wgg《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-6s Platinum s24《⋰》e6s《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-6s Platinum s25《⋰》THOT《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-4s Silver s7《⋰》TSR《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-4s Silver s8《⋰》TSR《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-4s Silver s9《⋰》fragclub'《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-ESEA s24《⋰》D+GG《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-ESEA s25《⋰》D+GG《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-TFCL 6s《⋰》-1K-《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
- TFCL Ultiduo 《⋰》cb 《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
-RETF2 6s《⋰》FtQ《⋰》ᴍᴇᴅ
Currently Offline
Last Online 1 hrs, 32 mins ago
Artwork Showcase
When your a Medic main~
67 3 1
Favorite Game
Spooky! Thats me! ~('◡'~)

I remember the first time someone explained to me what the word gay meant.
We were in middle school
Playing on the swing set behind Stoy Elementary
"He’s so gay," she said
Bitter disgust poured out of her mouth with every syllable
I could not think as to why being happy could be such a horrible thing
And so I asked
My exact words being
“Whats so wrong with being happy?”
Now both my friends looked at me weird
“Don’t you know what gay means?”
“Doesn’t it mean to be happy?”
“You’re such a little kid, gay does not mean happy. Gay is a boy who likes another boy”
I stood there wondering why it mattered so much that a boy liked another boy;
why it was such a distasteful thing.
And why it meant gay couldn’t still mean,

I hate these feelings
I hate that i’m different from everybody else
I hate how I can’t look at a woman and think
“Damn she’s sexy”
Or how I cant hug a woman without feeling weird in some way
And its all because deep down I know I don’t swing that way
I hate having to hide myself from others 
And having to create two people who are different from one another
I hate having to keep my true self hidden inside
And having to push all my true feelings aside
It feels almost like a giant boulder pressing down on my chest
Causing every bone, muscle, and artery to ache and throb in anger,
Every vein in my body wrapped around from my fingers to my legs ache
They ache in fear
Pure fear extract
Derived directly from the bottom pits of the soul 
The type of fear that you get when you have no idea where to go or what to do
The type of fear that makes you lose yourself inside your own mind
It creates a maze so complex that it makes you twist and turn 
And twist and turn 
Only to find yourself back at the beginning 
But I’m also tiered of this fear
Tiered of It weighing me down and making me feel insignificant to the world
Tiered of it making me feel as if I were the only person that felt this way 
I promised myself long ago that I would get rid of this horrid feeling
That I would make my unhallowed mind stable and sane
I can't get there
I know it.
But i’ll get through this maze I’ve created 
Maybe not today or tomorrow but someday…
- Trade Offers : Link~
- Age : 18
- Gender : Bigender
- Religion : Atheist
- Sexuality : GAY!
- Mood : I hope to die.
- Best Games : TF2, Doom series
- TF2 Main : Medic
- Music : Hard Rock, Metal
- Favorite Colors : Blue, Gray and Black
- Hobbies : Video games, Balisongs, Programming, OS Development
- Car : Mazda 3
- Languages : English, Python, C, C#, C++, Assembly NASM and MASM
- Job : Yes
- Tower : NZXT H440 Razer Edition
- Power Supply : EVGA 750 G3, Gold
- Motherboard : MSI Intel Z97 ATX Motherboard
- CPU : Intel Core i7-4790 CPU @3.60GHz
- Memory : 12GB DDR3
- Hard Drive : 256GB SSD, 1TB HDD
- Video Card : NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1060 6GB
- Headphones : ASTRO A40 PC Headset
- Mouse : Razer DeathAdder Chroma
- Mousepad : Razer Firefly Chroma
- Keyboard : Razer BlackWidow Chroma Stealth

Recent Activity

130 hrs on record
last played on Dec 11
3,808 hrs on record
last played on Dec 11
10.6 hrs on record
last played on Dec 9
Scratchh Dec 9 @ 12:08pm 
stox Dec 9 @ 6:57am 
what in tarnation
Spooky Verkäuferin Dec 9 @ 6:56am 
I won't
stox Dec 9 @ 5:16am 
i think i gotta disagree with that
spirit Dec 8 @ 10:34pm 
stox Dec 1 @ 3:01pm 
boy you better keep this chat at a user friendly level B)