Not VIP QUALITY.

I'M SINGING IN THE RAAAAAAIN, JUST SINGING IN THE RAIN. WHAT A GLORIOUS FEELING, I'M HAPPY AGAIN. I'M LAUGHING AT CLOUDS, SO DARK UP ABOVE. AND I'M READY FOR LOVE

When I was little I would spend hours taking a shit. Why? Because I had too much fun with it. By that I mean, if I couldn't push it out right away, I would put my feet up on the rim of the toilet and squat like that while I fingered the poop out of my ass, then I would hold a wet wipe under my ass so that when I got the shit to start coming out I could catch the turd in the wet wipe. Then, before I would drop it in and flush it, I would hold the wrapped turd in my hand and squish, making it pop out of one side of the wet wipe like a tube of tooth paste. I would then spend a great amount of time cleaning up after myself so no one would find out, but one day my sister, who didn't know I was in the bathroom doing business, walked on in me doing this. Most awkward day of my childhood.

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i'm not a president! i'm the penis of the united states.