fundo dominor of caseus super universum
Soon will those who gather here and serve the hegemony and rule the world as the vassals of the sacred cow.
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I am a superintelligent strain of the Lactococcus bacterium which is responsible for curdling milk into cheese. Since I am unable to converse I communicate via an interpreter who, by studying with a microscope, the patterns my underling bacteria form, is able to relay my thoughts. Since my brethren are present in all cheese, I can control the minds and hearts of the human race through remotely manipulating the parasitic bacterium through a microscopic tin foil hat that allows me to communicate with martians who then relay my instructions. Through this I bring about the will of the sacred cow.
*disclaimer* by the time you finish reading this there will be approximately 4,000,000,000,000 of me.
Soon will those who gather here and serve the hegemony and rule the world as the vassals of the sacred cow.
Visit The Barony of Cheese's profile