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8 of 10 (80%) achievements earned:

Personal Achievements
 
Unlocked Oct 28, 2013 @ 6:34pm

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Unlocked Oct 28, 2013 @ 3:39pm

Click on door 430 five times.

Click on door 430 five times.
Unlocked Oct 28, 2013 @ 5:04pm

Achievement

This is an achievement.
Unlocked Oct 28, 2013 @ 12:42pm

Welcome back!

Quit the game and then start it again.
Unlocked Oct 28, 2013 @ 5:53pm

Speed run

Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)
Unlocked Oct 28, 2013 @ 12:50pm

You can't jump

No seriously, we disabled it.
Unlocked Oct 28, 2013 @ 6:33pm

Go outside

Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years.
Unlocked Oct 28, 2013 @ 2:22pm

Beat the game

Complete The Stanley Parable.



Commitment

Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.

Unachievable

It is impossible to get this achievement.


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