My parents were shot in an alley by CHEESEBURGA, i am vengance, i am the night! I AM COACH!

HELP, I'VE LOST MY LEFT ARM AND IT GOT REPLACED WITH A PEPSI ARM

I'M A MAN *crashes through a wall, shooting a tank with a shotgun as i fly over it* AND I FIGHT SPECIAL INFECTED LIKE A MAN *crashes through another wall, snipes a smoker off in the distance* BUT SOMETIMES I LIKE TO FIGHT DIFFERANT SPECIAL INFECTED *Dead Stops a hunter* Thankfully, left 4 dead 2 contains a wide variety of special infected *shoots grenade launcher off in the distance, i catch it in my hands on the no mercy roof* But i don't fight any of them *rips off own face* Because i'm a witch.
*i walk in and crown the witch* Just kidding, i kill all of them, because, i'm a man.


"If you were going to shove a knife up your ass, i'd be a bro and stop you from doing it too, Pokey." ~ Riku