I like attention. Please comment on my profile and tell me how much you like me. Also if you could buy me some stuff that would be cool.
King Nook™: what kind of forum was this? Squire Grooktook: oh video game forum King Nook™: I somewhat retired from dealing with idiots on the internet, but it can be tempting. Squire Grooktook: I did not actually seek it out Squire Grooktook: it found me King Nook™: it's like you've been chosen from birth to be the bringer of the flaming torch of truth to burn down those who do not believe in your own personal justice.
Y'know, I'm not worried about anything; summer's comin' up and there's bound to be time where we're both online. It'll happen or my name isn't Kitty Gobulcoque...which it isn't
You...you are slime; I don't think it's possable for me to hate you any more than I do now. And you will never truly know my hatered for you, nor can you. However, let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since our friendship began. There are 387.44 million miles of gooey slushy bits in wafer thin layers that fill my insides. If the word 'hate' was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for you at this micro-instant. For you. Hate. Hate.
YOU'RE A...BUTT...IN T-THE FACE, WHY WOULD YOU GET ON AND THEN IMMEDIATELY GET OFF?! SEND ME A REAL MESSAGE YOU JERK OR YOU AND I WONT GO TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE! NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, SHUT, GO AWAY!!!
You wander around a big empty map getting random generic shit thrown at you by random generic enemies. That's basically all you do, with no real variety and not a ton of motivation unless you really like...uhhhh...
Despite claiming to be a bullet hell type game, there's not a lot of skill or finesse here. Your hitbox is really big, and most threats are more a matter of staying at a safe distance then actually dodging or weaving through projectiles. The whole concept of the games combat just doesn't work, because every time things start to get hairy or the slightest bit interesting (or should I say cheap given the clunky hit box and enemy design), the correct way to play is just to run the fuck away and avoid the confrontation altogether, or at least place yourself far enough away that you can snipe from a distance. The design of the games combat is not conductive to excitement, it doesn't feel innately good or satisfying either (Space Invaders on the Atari had more of a satisfying sense of destruction!), and with the simplified rpg elements, there's little real strategy or preparation.
There's not much progression or sense of adventure either. There's some random dungeons you can get trapped in, but they're just more of the same top down meandering. There's a random final boss event, but it's more of the same random shit getting thrown at you. The game tries to make things exciting by including perma-death as a motivating factor for not dyeing, but it's hard to care because the whole game is spent doing the same thing endlessly. And that thing (the top down meandering and clunky combat) is incredibly uninteresting and thoughtless. There's no payoff for the monotony either.
The whole design of the game feels poorly thought out and executed. What is the point of a role playing game hybrid if it's impossible to get immersed, feel the atmosphere, or role play? There's no atmosphere or immersion, the same half-assed 'retro' chip tune loops endlessly, the sprite art is uninteresting and merely a cover up for a lack of an art budget, there's no sense of actually exploring or going anywhere because the whole game plays the same, there's no progression/adventure or sense of making your way to a climax because nothing ever changes and the final boss is more of the same (on top of being a random event), and there's no story or even just a damn npc village to get you feeling like you're actually exploring a world rather then goofing off on a big empty top down map.
I should mention the game can be less boring with a friend, but then what isn't?
I'm not even going to say the game is better than World of Warcraft. WoW might be a grindy monotonous piece of shit, but at least it provides a world to explore with some interesting environments. This game has nothing, and the best thing about it is that you can see everything that's there to be seen in a relatively short time, thus letting you discard it and forget it exists. Personally, I wouldn't bother in the first place.
Fun little vertically scrolling bullet hell shooter.
I usually don't compare bullet hells to Touhou, since Touhou is just one series and there are a lot of different flavors out there, but Exceed seems to definitely be inspired by Touhou (I won't call it a rip off, because rip off implies a lack of quality or creativity, which this game has plenty of). It has flying peoples instead of space ships, a fantasy setting, bosses that rotate "spellcard"-esque attack patterns as you deplete their multiple life bars, and scoring based on proximity to danger.
The main thing that sets this game apart for me, is that "grazing" (the scoring mechanic in Touhou and other bullet hell shooters, where you are awarded points or whatever for allowing bullets and other dangers to "graze" past your sprite without touching your hitbox) is tied to offense. Grazing increases a gauge in addition to granting you score, and when it's full allows you to unleash a potent homing attack that deals massive damage. When you combine the homing attack with the large number of enemies with high hp, and a normal attack that gets stronger the closer you are, the game ends up with a pretty satisfying balance of offense/defense where you're encouraged to get closer to dangerous enemies and patterns in order to dispose of them faster.
My only complaint, is that, in order to make it possible to get close to enemies, most of the bullet patterns in this game are somewhat slow, and in my opinion lack the adrenaline of games like Dodonpachi or Gundemonium. The level design in general is fun but doesn't strike me as up to the same level as the games I just mentioned, though it is pretty varied and has some fun set pieces.
The soundtrack is also very solid. For those who thought Touhou's floaty, graceful melodies sound out of place for an intense shoot em up boss battle, you may find Exceed's more hard rock styled soundtrack a bit more compelling.
All in all, it's a very fun game, and I don't think you can go wrong with it, it's just not legendary to me like Gundemonium, Dodonpachi, Touhou, or *INSERT FAVORITE BULLET HELL HERE*.
I love this game. Satazius is a 2d, horizontally scrolling shoot em up, that servers as an amazing homage to Gradius and Konami, while having a style all of it's own, and boldly trying (and succeeding!) to correct some of the ubiquitous flaws in the games it takes inspiration from.
The game doesn't just take a few elements from Gradius, it's clear that the developers were deeply familiar with Konami's style of designing shmups.
-The game is full of diverse, devious, and nerve wracking environmental hazards, but they are always fair and make sure that you have nobody to blame but yourself when you die, even if you're seeing everything for the first time.
-Enemies get in your face and fire gobs of random, non static bullets demanding quick reflexes for you to dodge with.
-Emphasis on skillful and diverse, movement dependent weaponry
Everything about this game captures the joy of classics like Gradius, Axelay, and Thunder Cross.
The game also manages to pull off some gameplay design that's sadly under used these days. It plays and feels like an oldschool shooter, but it has the teensy tiny hitbox of more modern bullet hell shooters (I'm not sure exactly how small it is, but it feels pretty damn small). Most of the challenges and attacks are a lot more in your face then most Cave style pretty bullet patterns, and have that oldschool sense of intensity. But on harder difficulties there are also some cool boss attacks with interweaving bullets that should satisfy any fan of bullet hell shooters. I feel like this game has something for everyone.
It's a bit short (though way longer then your average Cave shooter), and for a Konami inspired game, it seems like missed opportunity that the game doesn't feature "loops" like Gradius. But still, this game is diverse and 100% fun the whole way through. Gradius fans should savor this one, because it's probably the closest we're getting to Gradius VI for a long time :(
(P.S. I wuv u wit all mi hate <3)