Steam Profile

Molested Rubber Ducky

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Marion, Arkansas, United States

Born in Ireland, know one knew that the brave Russian boy that was born would soon become a world renowned bull rider and would move to America to seek his dream as a famous skeet shooter. There he prospered and became a famous singer/songwriter/skeet shooter. He won competitions all around the US before reaching the peek of his career at the age of 9. His bull fighting years came back to haunt him as the US government needed a expert on the subject to stop terrorists from utilizing the nuclear power of bull riding. Equipped with a chainsaw guitar and a toothpick, he charged into the terrorist camps, riding his trusty steed Donut. He slaughtered entire villages in search of the bull bombs, only to find none. He returned home and had sex with his 12 wives, for he was a Polygamist. Not bad for a 14 year old Russian boy named Jake Savage. He now lives humbly in his hillside castle in Arkansas with his 3 pet falcons and wearing velvet robes and drinking fine scotch on damp winter nights, while his falcons fetch him dinner.

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