I'd rather be safe and racist than dead and tolerant
Hey I'm for LGBTQ - Lets Go Bully The Queer
helullo ie am teh loraxitivae and ie suggest yoo consumeam a well roonded, nutritioos breakfast witht lots of fibare to esnuare that teh start of yoor day is goud and provideis yoo witht a sufficient amoont of energy befoare requirenng nomare sustenancae.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?Someone left the plunger in her toilet
Why can't Stevie Wonder drive a bus?There isn't a steering wheel at the back of a bus
How do you make an 8 year old cry twice?Wipe your bloody dick on their teddy bear
A young boy and an old man are walking in a dark forest at night. The boy says to the man "I'm scared!" The man looks at the boy incredulously and says "YOU'RE scared? I have to walk out of here alone!
What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?Stephen Hawking after a house fire
What is Germany's national vegetable?Michael Schumacher
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?AIDs
What's red and crawls up a teenage girls inner thigh?A homesick abortion
What's red and white, and sits in a corner getting smaller and smaller?A baby with a potato peeler
"Daddy, daddy! I think I just got my first period!" "Really? I thought I just bit my lip."
Who the fuck am I and why shouldn't you care
I'm Collin. Collin the accountant. I live in a flat in Sheffield, and am a divorcee. I drink coffee every morning, and silently sharpen my knives in my cellar. I'm just another law abiding citizen.
I5 6500 ASUS GTX 970 4GB STRIX HyperX 16GB DDR4 RAM An ASUS H110 motherboard (who gives a shit) DeepCool Tesseract Case
Some quotes to enjoy...
-"I don't understand gay pride; why would they be proud of being defective" - My Dad -"What is a motherboard? I'm getting an Intel so I don't think I need one" - Jack cater -"I may be obese but atleast I'm not fat" - Sc0tty -"HEES A JIZZ PACKET!" - Oscar -"BUTT RAPING COMMITTEE ASSEMBLE!" - Sam -"Get away from me with your dirty penis hands!" - Frieda -"He Shooted his dick off" - Lewis Bunce -"FUCK HE CAME!!!" - Joe Rea -"That's really penetrating my arse" & -"Fuck off and go squirt on someone who cares" - Kara -"Salty foreskin all the way" - Me
Quotes an unnamed member of my family has said
-"I don't really understand gay pride I mean why would you be proud of being defective" -"Black people being successful is conflicting as I don't know whether to tax them or burn them" -"All I know is they're yellow and slitty eyed" -"Anyone who uses a microwave to make tea should be expelled from the country" -"My name for the paralympic swimming team is stumpy and the three dwarves"