Alright, here goes nothing: Random requests will likely be ignored for days and then rejected. I don't easily socialise with new people, especially with no context. Also, I routinely speak entire paragraphs. Don't like it? Fuck off. :3
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Achievement Showcase
Perfect Games
Avg. Game Completion Rate
The Avatar of Adorable
This Asshole Again?
Absolutely. All the time. More frequently than you can handle, even. I'm Virtue!

Does She Even Lift?
Sure, I guess. No actual lifting, though. I'm a fucking twig. But I do make Youtube videos in which I scream at internal organs and inanimate objects. I also get lazy and make Python do things for me. I draw in my spare time, but I'm not great. Which doesn't bode well for my dreams of becoming an animator, huh?

So, What's Her Schtick?
Pardon me? My what? I mean, I can show you my "schtick" if I suppose the closest approximation to what's being asked here would be...uh...

Hard Pass.

Anything I Should Know?
Well, sure. Here's my info, for starters:

Name: Virtue Valiance
Apparent Age: 23
Actual Age: 10,045
Species: Arctic Fox + Skunk Hybrid
Orientation: Whatever, really. I'm not too overly particular. I do prefer guys, though.
Personality Type: INTJ-A | "The Architect"
Relationship Status: Taken by a beautiful fox. He's mine~<3
Appearance: Sexy as Fuck (NSFW!!!) []
Capacity for Cute: !ERROR! Result Exceeds All Known Variable Types.
Likes: Chocolate milk, cute furry guys, energetic music, candy, big fluffy dogs, FOXES!!, video and map editing software, Photoshop, Mischief, Shin Megami Tensei, art supplies that aren't pastels because fuck pastels
Dislikes: Assholes, broken websites, systems that rely on themselves as backups, fucking pastels, idiots, capitalism, eggs
Home: Apartment 814, Vegas Court, New Nexus, Silva, Tehra, Orionis
Review Showcase
83 Hours played
[h1]The Talos Principle - Beauty in All Forms:
Physical, Mental, and Spiritual[/h1]

The World, Rendered By
The Hidden Words

What do I even say about this? What can I say that would describe the elating, sorrowful, thought-provoking experience that is this game? The Talos Principle is simply a work of art; it can only be described masterful exploration of what it means to be a person, to be human. And yet, it never tells us quite what makes one so.

It can showcase a brilliant adventure by one who would seek the truth whilst forsaking immortalisation, or the epic saga of one who would seek eternity without knowing the truth of their reality, or if it even is reality. It shows that devotion and faith can deliver one to their goal, but at the same time that perseverance and a desire to learn rather than blindly believe can take you to places untold.

And throughout, you're never wrong to follow your own path, because what is humanity but living the life you feel is best, seeking to satisfy the values you hold dear? You may follow your own path or the one given to you, but no matter which you choose...

It's your choice and only you can make it.

The Path to the Sigils,
and to Enlightenment and Eternity

The puzzles in this game are beyond what you'll find in a less philosophical title. I don't say that to insult other titles. I, for one, love games like Portal, which are driven by their stories. And that doesn't make their puzzles any less difficult.

What I mean is that, simply put, the puzzles found in The Talos Principle are not simply solved in one way or another. They can be solved in any way you may find. You may see a way to take a piece out of a puzzle, drag it somewhere else, and solve another puzzle with its external assistance. You may guide a simple beam across several puzzles at once. You might even find that some things are only able to be found when you look closely at what you're given and disregard the boundaries they're seemingly trapped within.

This game gives you a sort of freedom that is only found when one is forced to question the very foundations upon which their world is wrought. The world may be hewn from the Hidden Words, designed so as to ensure your ability to reach all of the conclusions by following its guidance. But that doesn't mean that you must follow the path. In fact, some things may actually be far easier if you ignore the world as it is, and instead view it as you wish it to be. After all, your will can move mountains and defy the very pitfalls that consume the path before you.

You must simply find something to believe in, whether that be a god to help and guide you, or your own power to shape and completely rewrite the world in your image.

A Story Written Long Ago,
Now Viewed Through Another Lens

The world is not simply defined by the story it shows on its surface. The lore set out by the terminal entries, the time capsule recordings, the characters within the world itself...even the QR codes haphazardly spread on the walls by those before, after, and alongside you show that no way of thinking is correct, but that none of them are wrong. Only by your own mind may you find the truth as it applies to you, but that doesn't mean you should ignore the help and advice offered to you.

The story set about before the game is tragic, but beautiful. It is explained across the worlds you trek through, and shows that the pride of humankind both curses it to tragedies and yet bestows upon it the gifts of thaumaturgy. Never have I seen such beauty in failures when they serve to teach, nor felt such disgust in the successes that enable destruction.

The characters you meet and those you don't will both share viewpoints and antagonise each other, just as occurs in the world now. They will present, to you and others, their viewpoints and it's up to you to interpret them and use them to build your own views, or to discard in favour of your views.

This is a game that encourages you to think, not just about the puzzles it places before you, but about everything that it is to exist, to feel, to be a person. It both terrifies and calms, and consistently shows that while your beliefs will serve you, they should never be allowed to become prejudices that serve only to hinder you.

You must view the world with a curious and welcoming heart, but also with a hesitant and questioning mind.

Yet, Thou Shall, Without Fail, Find
Thyself Cursed With One Thousand Sigils

This is actually the only part of the game that I can say I disliked, and not even that consistently. I understand that not everything can be perfect and not everything will please everyone, but after painfully trudging through Sigils of Elohim for extra content in The Talos Principle, and the tetromino puzzles within this game itself, I find myself thoroughly fed up with tetrominos. And that's saying something, since I love tetris, but I can find no love for these any longer.

[h1]And So Shall It Be, Just As It Is
Written By The Hidden Words[/h1]

My judgments on the game's core components are as follows:

[th]Component Being Judged[/th]
[th]Score (out of 10)[/th]
[td]Environment Design[/td]
[td]World Puzzles[/td]
[td]Backstory Elements[/td]
[td]Characters and Storyline[/td]
[td]Tetromino Puzzles[/td]

And yet, even with the blasted tetrominos, I'm gonna give the game a solid 10/10 because this game goes absolutely above any beyond what I could have ever begun to expect was possible in a game. If ever I considered anything to be a work of art in gaming, this would be something I would stick in the Louvre as the primary example of what artistic beauty can be fashioned within the framework that is a videogame.

And that it was done with the engine and some great many assets from something as silly as Serious Sam 3 (also a fantastic game, for wildly different reasons) is absolutely magnificent.

Congratulations, Tom Jubert and Jonas Kyratzes. Your story has brought me to tears, had me smiling with some of the most genuine happiness I've ever known, and shown me that nothing can be taken for granted. And congratulations to Croteam and Devolver Digital for developing and publishing this absolutely masterful piece of human history. This will go down as a thing of beauty and will be remembered for many years to come.

Thank you so very much for creating this game and allowing me to experience this world, for I am truly grateful to have been able to be a part of it.

(Note: I have not played with the Serious DLC. I can only imagine it's far less serious than the name implies. Otherwise, I have seen every facet of this world's beauty, and found nothing wanting. It is a truly masterful work and sets the example for those that would come after it.)

Recent Activity

39 hrs on record
last played on Jun 26
68 hrs on record
last played on Jun 23
11.6 hrs on record
last played on Jun 22
Slade Xanthas Jan 9 @ 5:22pm 
pretty princess
Slade Xanthas Jan 9 @ 5:21pm 
seal the deal with a kiss
Slade Xanthas Jan 6 @ 5:04am 
hello and welcome to the smooch
Captain Blue Nov 13, 2016 @ 5:45am 
The best birthday for one of the best fluffballs out there. Happy birthday, skoxy. <3
Slade Xanthas Nov 11, 2016 @ 11:13pm 
surprise buttsex
Slade Xanthas Oct 29, 2016 @ 11:57am