"I find that quoting oneself is one of the most arrogant ways one could imagine to spend one's time." --BeauChaotica
Nottingham, United Kingdom (Great Britain) 
3A. ESSAY IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike tuba playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for MI6. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on holiday in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis...but I didn't write this. Bet you thought I was interesting for a minute.
Apparently, the author of this essay, Hugh Gallagher, now attends NYU.
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Gaming Masters
GamingMasters.co.uk Clan
We are a UK based Team Fortress 2 clan with members from all over the world.
Website: http://www.gamingmasters.co.uk
Forum: http://www.gamingmasters.co.uk/forum/
HLStatsX: http://www.gamingmasters.co.uk/stats
TF2 #1 -- Balloon Race -- HLstatsX 81.19.212.48:27015
TF2 #2 -- Arena -- HLstatsX 81.19.212.48:27016
TF2 #3 -- Dustbowl -- HLstatsX 81.19.212.48:27017
TF2 #4 -- Rotation -- HLstatsX 81.19.212.48:27018
TF2 #5 -- Rotation #2 -- HLstatsX 81.19.212.48:27019
TF2 #6 -- Scoutsknivez -- HLstatsX 81.19.212.48:27031
TF2 #7 -- Anime Beach Volleyball -- HLstatsX 81.19.212.48:27043
Private War Server 81.19.212.48:27050 (SourceTV 81.19.212.48:27052)
Zombie Panic Source #1 81.19.212.48:30000
Zombie Panic Source #2 81.19.212.48:30001
Zombie Panic Source #3 81.19.212.48:30002
Zombie Master #1 81.19.212.48:31000
Zombie Master #2 81.19.212.48:31001
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