➤⠀W E L C O M E
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Oh, great GabeN, the Sultan of Sales, the Overlord of Offers! Thy kingdom is not just VALVE but a magical realm where wallets weep and credit cards tremble. Thy name, Gabe Newell, is whispered in reverence and awe, like the secret cheat code to unlimited fun.

I beseech thee, dear GABEN, to absolve me of my past sins in the land of peasants and grant me asylum in the glorious PC Master Race. Cleanse me of my console transgressions, for I have seen the light of the Steam Sale.

Bestow upon us, this day, our daily deal – a discount so divine that angels weep in jealousy. Forgive us our impulse buys, as we forgive those who camp in online multiplayer just to snipe us when we spawn.

And in the face of DLC temptation, shield us, oh mighty GabeN, for we know not what extra skins and horse armor may lurk in the shadows. Lead us away from the path of Origin, and deliver us from the dark side of microtransactions.

For thine is the digital kingdom, the power-up, and the glory kill, forever and ever. Gaben.

➤⠀Leave hate below <3
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