Since December 10, 2008

United States 

The Blatantly Arrogant Lovers of the Zebra (BALZ) Gaming Oligarchy is a group of similarly-minded individuals who all share a common sense of reverence for the majesty and beauty of the African Black and White Striped Zebra.
Millions of years of evolution (or perhaps several moments of creation – we here at BALZ believe strongly in freedom of speech, freedom of religion and freedom of genital shaving patterns) have given this humble planet many awe-inspiring organisms; these include (but are not limited to) Platypi, the elusive Australian Horned Toad, the Viagra Plant, Margaret Thatcher and lastly, but certainly less than leastly, the Zebra. These massive feats of biological beauty become even more impressive when compared against their polar opposites. Obselete, denegerate lifeforms including peat moss, unremarkable amoeba, the dung beetle and spiral Mac ‘n Cheese form a festering pool of tar and fish guts from whence the glorious figure of the immutable Zebra brandishes its potency (wicked awesomess) in fullest splendor. If that last sentence was a little verbose, let me simplify and quote the splendiferous literacist (do not confuse with liteRacist – a writer who is also a racist and writes about his/her experiences with being racist) John William Stoat Ascott in saying, “This shit pwns all, wtf l33t beehatch.”

And what a quotation indeed.

Above all, the dizzingly average number of individuals who proudly stamp [BALZ] before their call signs in gaming communities everywhere recognize that there is more to BALZ than just loving zebras. Really, these near-elite few have openly declared their common affection for good gaming, good laughs and excellent cleavage shots in Hollywood films (male or female, BALZ have no prejudices). In summary, if you ever happen across another player with the [BALZ] stamp of approval blazoned across their identification region, you will know you are about to experience gaming beyond parallel. Diamonds are forever, but BALZ are just whack, yo.

Zebra Safari

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