Announcements
The Guild of Calamitous Intent- Council of Thirteen
The Guild's top 100 rules for aspiring supervillains
In preparation for the release of Season Three of the Venture Brothers on DVD, the Council of Thirteen would like all members to analyze the following crucial rules. The complete list can be found here:
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
This is a fun read. However, for educational purposes, the Sovereign has included an abbreviated list below. THIS is a list of all the rules BROKEN by members and non-guild members alike, with a brief comment about who broke it. TAKE HEED, VILLAINS!
The Top 13 Things To Do If You Become A Supervillain
1. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. – rule #2, The Monarch’s Cocoon
2. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed; not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. – Rule #3, Dr. Venture’s abdomen and Jonas Venture Junior
3. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal. – Rule 13, Phantom Limb, Phantom Limb, Phantom Limb!!!!!!!
4. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request. - #14, Brock Samson and the Ghost Pirates aka the most uncomfortable fight scene ever.
5. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head. – #15, Phantom Limb (granted, it worked out in the end.)
6. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion. – #16, Most guild members, in general; with the exception of the Monarch.
7. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by. – #32, Baron Underbite and his minions.
8. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison. – #32 The Venture family in general, all the time, when captured.
9. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance. – #44, Jean-Claude Le Tueur and Co.
10. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about. – #52, Castle Underbite and the Venture Compound.
11. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention. - #55, Otaku Senzuri and every other odd-ball psychotic in the Venture-verse.
12. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am. – #59, M.U.T.H.E.R.
13. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again. – #88 The poor, poor Monarch and his incompetent minions.
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
This is a fun read. However, for educational purposes, the Sovereign has included an abbreviated list below. THIS is a list of all the rules BROKEN by members and non-guild members alike, with a brief comment about who broke it. TAKE HEED, VILLAINS!
The Top 13 Things To Do If You Become A Supervillain
1. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. – rule #2, The Monarch’s Cocoon
2. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed; not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. – Rule #3, Dr. Venture’s abdomen and Jonas Venture Junior
3. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal. – Rule 13, Phantom Limb, Phantom Limb, Phantom Limb!!!!!!!
4. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request. - #14, Brock Samson and the Ghost Pirates aka the most uncomfortable fight scene ever.
5. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head. – #15, Phantom Limb (granted, it worked out in the end.)
6. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion. – #16, Most guild members, in general; with the exception of the Monarch.
7. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by. – #32, Baron Underbite and his minions.
8. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison. – #32 The Venture family in general, all the time, when captured.
9. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance. – #44, Jean-Claude Le Tueur and Co.
10. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about. – #52, Castle Underbite and the Venture Compound.
11. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention. - #55, Otaku Senzuri and every other odd-ball psychotic in the Venture-verse.
12. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am. – #59, M.U.T.H.E.R.
13. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again. – #88 The poor, poor Monarch and his incompetent minions.
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