The OFFICAL Portal 2 boycott group
The Portal 2 Boycott is a group of individual(s) who has pledged to boycott the release of the sequel to Valve Software's 2007 hit puzzle game Portal, until a time when Valve sees it fit to fly the group member(s) to their offices to play the game early.
-Valve is a company with financial needs and cannot be expected to survive without giving me a free preview of the game
-Judgment cannot be passed on the quality of Portal 2 until I play it
-Portal was, and is, a quality game which deserves the praise of the entire gaming community.
WE ARE COMMITTED:
-To holding Valve to my promise to uphold the community by letting me play the game ASAP
-To keeping the Portal Community together until I can get my grubby hands on the sequel
-To supporting the model of Valve flying assholes down to their office to shut them up.
-The release of Portal 2 without letting me play it first will make me have to wait like the rest of these dickweeds.
-The lack of announcements regarding Portal 2 by Valve can only mean the game is going to be really, really sweet.
-I should totally get to play Portal 2 like, right now.
-Whadd'ya say, guys?
-That Valve honor its commitment to let noteless dickbags play their games early for riling up a bunch of other dickbags
-That Valve purchases First Class tickets, because I hate flying Coach
-That owners of Portal, i.e. Me, be given the game free when it is released.
Therefore, we - the member(s) of this Portal 2 Boycott - promise to abstain from the purchase of Portal 2 until my request is addressed.