That Rustled My Jimmies

This group has been inactive for over NINE THOUSAND years now. Everyone is dead. I don't exactly remember what killed us, maybe we went insane, or we found a time traveling machine and went to the 1950's. We could of actually managed to have lives and forgot about this group. Oh wait, we don't have lives, that's not possible. It is not in the prophecy. Wait, what am I talking about again? I think we should atleast try to do something, like fight each other like real men over the interwebs, or maybe we could betray each other over stupid things like a solid gold Barbie statue, though, that's pretty valuable, so maybe a cookie instead. That's it, we need to kill each other for cookies. You could make a movie out of that. If anyone does, they need to call it the Hunger Games. I'll bet it will be a very popular film, because who doesn't like teenagers killing each other for cookies? You must be adopted if you don't. Well, anyway I think we should do something in this group again. Actually, to be honest, I'm writing this because I'm bored and I want to do something with this squad. It gets pretty lonely here being by yourself all the time. YOU RUBBISH PEASANTS!

If you read this then you are a true mentlegen and scholar.
Sincerely, your master of magical-ness, Magical Cat