ARE YOU GORDON FREEMAN?

Since June 7, 2009

Struggling through years of schooling, and finally acquiring a PhD in order to do such things as pushing a cart and pressing a button.
Running through miles of hostile aliens, soldiers, death-trap puzzles to get to the other side of a wooden door.
Saving hundreds of scientists in a cheap attempt to cover up the fact that you were the one who caused all this in the first place.
Observing that, time after time, you will coincidently never, even in a heavily militarized area, find an automatic before you've already had a pistol for some time.
Getting clearance to top-secret research facilities, starting a world-wide revolution, and seducing a woman in the middle of a post-apocalypse, all without saying one word.
...such are only a fraction of your accomplishments. You have been through Black Mesa, through City 17, through White Forest, and you brought with you nothing but your silent charm, a steady mind, and a high-powered super-suit capable of sustaining multiple gunshot wounds to the unprotected face. You have done it all. YOU ARE GORDON FREEMAN.

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