These orks be crampin' my style~

Since August 15, 2011

IT IS THE 41ST MILLENIUM AND THERE IS ONLY WAR. AND IT'S FUCKING AWESOME WAR I'M TALKING 10FT TALL GENETIC SUPERMEN PUNCHING ORKS. THESE AREN'T YOUR SHITTY ARSE TOLKEIN ORKS EITHER. THESE BASTARDS ARE GENETICALLY ENGINEERED FROM MUSHROOMS TO KILL EVERYTHING. THEIR GUNS WORK BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY DO. THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND.

SO ANYWAY. YOU'RE A GENETIC FREAK OF A SUPERMAN. YOUR ARMOUR IS OLDER THAN MOST OF THE PEOPLE STILL ALIVE IN THE UNIVERSE. IT HAS SEEN MORE WAR THAN EVERY MAN IN YOUR SQUAD COMBINED. IT IS MADE OF SHIT THAT TANKS ARE MADE OF. YOUR SWORD IS MADE OF CHAINSAWS AND WILL CUT SHIT UP.

OH FUCK I DIDN'T EVEN TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR GUN. YOUR GUN IS A MACHINE GUN. THAT FIRES ROCKETS, MINIATURE ROCKETS. THESE THINGS ARE CASELESS ROUNDS THAT ARE SO BADASS THEY PRODUCE CASES WHEN THEY ARE FIRED. WHEN THEY HIT A TARGET THEY DON'T JUST PENETRATE THEY PENETRATE THEN EXPLODE. A SINGLE SHOT AND YOU WILL BLOW A MANS HEAD OFF. EACH BULLET IS THE LENGTH OF YOUR MIDDLE FINGER AND TWICE AS THICK. EVERY TIME YOU FIRE A SHOT YOU ARE FLICKING THE BIRD AT THE ENEMY WITH EXPLOSIONS.

SO IN SUMMARY, YOU ARE A GENETIC SUPERMAN ARMOURED IN A WALKING TANK ARMED WITH A GIANT CHAINSAW AND A ROCKET LAUNCHER THAT SHOOTS FLYING FINGERS OF FUCK YOU AT A RACE THAT BREEDS BY DYING AND MAKES SHIT WORK BY THINKING IT DOES.

GOOD LUCK.

EAT IT!

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