There has been a dramatic rise in snow people assassinations this holiday season. We believe this is the work of a professional. An eye witness to one of the tragic scenes reports that “He stabbed them in the head with blades in his arms. Blades coming out of his arms I tell you! It was crazy! Then he just ran off and jumped in a haystack. He may still be there but I’d be careful about checking it.” Please be on the look out for anybody wearing what has been described as “a really cool bathrobe with a hood”. If you see this individual please call the authorities as soon as possible and do not approach him.
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