โพสต์: 25 มกราคม
I literally s*** my pants.
First corner I turned to find an imp on all fours, coiled and ready to strike a split second after making eye contact, I ruined my first pair of pants in years. Don't get me wrong, I foolishly put my trust in a treacherous fart every now and again. But this was complete Chocolate Chernobyl. I haven't done that since I was 25 or so when a bunch of bacon exploded while I was cooking. Luckily for my denim leggings of Levi, they weren't equipped at the moment. My +3 sword of bad ideas and sack of scratching though...
Anyway, here are the pros and cons of this game:
1. AMAZING graphics for the age of this game. Mods out there still available to make them even better. JUST READ THE INSTRUCTIONS!!! (Or your game will look like Doom on the SNES with a bad Game Genie code.)
2. Great mesh of HOLY F****** S*** swarms and "didn't I just pee ten minutes ago?" suspense.
3. Actually has a plot. Kind of. I dug it. If you don't like it then you're mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. Read the Doom books too. They're not terrible like everyone says in the reviews.
4. Better than the BFG edition. You can actually find mods for this version. Play them both and you'll find more differences that favor this original version.
5. Has an easy level that makes the game accessible to geezers like me.
6. Has a hard level that will make your nephew realize he's not as f****** cool as he thinks he is just because I HAPPEN to allow him to use me as bait in FPS's. I could "pwn n00bs like a boss" if I wanted, I just choose to not hit anything I pretend to aim at on purpose.
7. Great responsive and precise controls.
8. Terrifies small children so they decide to go play with Rx rattles and hair driers in the bathtub instead of being up your a** all the time while you're trying to ignore them.
1. You cannot eat anything with dairy in it the entire day before playing.
2. You will still poop at least a little bit.
3. It's so immersive you may forget there are children and/or animals in the house until after the fact when the entire place is destroyed and you wonder just how in the h*** you didn't hear any of it. Because the big screen falling onto a glass table HAD to be loud. Maybe that explains that demon that came through the window behind you then vanished?
I highly recommend this game! Just go out and buy some Depends while it's downloading.