Pubblicata: 24 febbraio
When I started writing more reviews, I told myself that I should do so after finishing the game. But this here. This game. I... can't wait until I've finished this mess before I write down what exactly I think of X-Blades.
You see, the game suffers from three big R's. Repetition, Recycling, and Redundancy. How so?Redundancy
For a start, you'll be spammed - SPAMMED, I tell you - with the same enemy type in one of the mind-numbingly short levels for minutes. You better have a durable thumb (or forefinger, depending on wether you play this with a controller or keyboard and mouse), because you'll have to spam back attacks to control those monster hordes. And it's not really entertaining at all. This will go on for every single level. Even the boss battles. You'll be swarmed by mobs.Repetition
It's not bad enough that the level design is already redundant with the endless monster hordes. Oh no, it gets worse. Because every single level will be the same. Bit of running around, bit of smashing things, button mashing, next level. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. I last for about 2 or so levels per sitting. I just can't do much more because it's so incredibly badly made.Recycling
Oh dear. They did not. - Hell yes, they did.
See, it's not bad to use a level again at a later point in time, in maybe slightly altered form, to give the game a nice little looping back. But X-Blades takes it to a sadly very, very lazy extreme. See... you go through the whole dungeon twice. At day and at night. The exact. Same. Rooms. And you do the exact. Same. Thing. Again.
For a game which claims to be of the Hack and Slash genre, X-Blades does a terrible job at introducing something which makes it stand out in the genre. The claims of the reviews that X-Blades is anywhere near as good as DMC is preposterous, even ridiculous. You better check out Metacritic first, and maybe a gameplay video on Youtube. Also, you should probably search for something superior to this.
Even if the game is a bit over 5 years old, this is no excuse at being so utterly terrible. 2009 brought us Overlord II, Dragon Age Origins, and Batman Arkham Asylum.
Think about this.
THINK ABOUT IT.
And keep your hands away from X-Blades.
Oh, in a slightly belated addition: I didn't talk about the gameplay, story, and any of that, did I now? Well. If any of it had been good, I miiiight have forgiven the triple-R offense of the game. But sadly, nothing noteworthy of a story to be found here.
The gameplay and controls feel stiff and rather ininspired. I played with an X-Box 360 Controller for Windows, and, bad as that is, I sometimes didn't notice the controller had lost power and disconnected from the receiver. It took me several seconds to even bother to check the controller at times, since X-Blades's controls have the tendency to feel a little sticky, at least to me.
Next, I'd like to talk about the music briefly. Sadly, the tracks are repetitive, and the in-game music was much too loud for my taste. I had to reduce it to near silence to be able to enjoy the music even remotely. That being said, it was most of the times highly unfitting for the current mood of the game, or at least what I perceived to actually be the intended mood. A tense moment was completely shot to pieces by much too heavy and fast-paced rock music (double offense for the track being the bad, generic kind), and the rest of the time, the music wasn't really adding anything for me. In fact, it felt more like background noise of the obnoxious kind.
Tiny little excourse to the voice-acting - there actually is some in the game! For some reason, even though I selected English as language, the voice-acting was in German... and... meh. MEH. Sorry, but it really, really destroyed the game even more. The voices didn't fit, they sounded uninspired, and the bickering back and forth between Ayumi and the dark wolf boss thingy was painfully childish and immature. Unnecessary, in other words.
Oh, right, the story. To be honest, since I don't plan on finishing the game (yeah... there's only so much mind-numbing stupidity I can deal with), I have nooo idea what the story is about. And even as I read up on it, it seems like it is all over the place. Something of an artifact, someone being possessed, getting repossessed, un-possessed... whatever. I have no idea. I really don't.
Maybe I should also add something about the character design. Good? Good. Or rather, bad. See, there are sexy heroines in tight, short outfits, and then there's Ayumi. I actually felt horribly uncomfortable with her. She looks much too young to wear little more than straps passing as an excuse for clothes. I don't view her as sexy. She has some adorable about her, and that makes things really awkward really fast. Add to that the uninspired childish bickering mentioned in the voice-acting paragraph of the review, and it gets really, really, REALLY awkward and weird.
So, with that added to the already terribly done R's... nope. Not looking any good here, X-Blades. I'm going to play Alice: Madness Returns next, to have some really good Hack and Slash.