Praxius Aug 4, 2013 @ 2:22am
Kill all witnesses, including that horse:
So one day walking down a road I passed by some fancy rich guy on a horse escorted by some guards. I went to talk to him and he was just rude as hell and kept riding on.

I thought to myself, "man, what a jerk. I hope someone stabs him in the eye."

Then I realized, I'm an assassin, thief, stealth guy, I could stab him in the eye.

So I was a few metres away by this realization and decided to grab my bow and drive an arrow into his head. After i taken care of his guards as they wandered around I'd loot everything he's got. Came up behind one and slit his throat, then sliced up the second guy..... As i went for the dead rich guy to loot him, i saw my bounty go through the roof.

I looked around for any other witnesses, as i did pass by a guard outpost a few minutes earlier, but nothing.

I then turn around and saw the rich guy's horse starring at me with a stupid look on its face. I thought for a second or two and "Naw, he can't be the witness, but i could use some horse hide for leather" and dropped him.

Then i got the notification of the last witness killed and my bounty went to zero.

Seriously?

A Horse is a friggin witness???

Who's the horse going to tell??

Will the horse stomp twice for yes or once for no on the witness stand???

What the hell is with that?
Last edited by Praxius; Aug 4, 2013 @ 3:14am
Showing 1-15 of 41 comments
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Marcy Aug 4, 2013 @ 2:43am 
I seriously lol'd when I read this. Something really stupid happened to me too.

I was on a nice trip with Faendal, when suddenly I came across these Stormcloak Soldiers who kept telling me to keep walking. Out of nowhere they started attacking, so obviously Faendal and I defended ourselves. My bounty went up sky-high as we were fighting them, when suddenly a bunch of Thalmor agents joined in on the fight and finished off all the Stormcloaks.

Seeing as I hate the Thalmor, I just killed them too. Cause, like really. They have cool armor. It's worth money!
Praxius Aug 4, 2013 @ 3:17am 
That and you were doing just fine without their help.... The friggn nerve, lol.
DJ Xsafro Aug 4, 2013 @ 3:19am 
"Naw, he can't be a witness", that part made me start cracking up, lol funny story
MLP Meteor Strike (RP pony) Aug 4, 2013 @ 3:31am 
horse must have a cellphone
Nice to Have Aug 4, 2013 @ 3:34am 
Well, I have read Bethesda had at least the chicken "witnesses" patched out. :-D
DJ Xsafro Aug 4, 2013 @ 3:38am 
Well, I have read Bethesda had at least the chicken "witnesses" patched out. :-D lol
Praxius Aug 4, 2013 @ 5:43am 
that would have been annoying, chasing a chicken around with a dagger.

I've seen talking cats, talking lizards, talking dragons, hell I've even encountered a talking dog... But nobody said anything about talking horses.....

Well he won't be talking now, I made sure of that. After I took his hide, I dragged him into the river with the rest of the bodies.

He was gonna snitch on me, huh? He's now sleeping with the fishy's.... See.

And I put his head in the bed of General Tullius to send a message.... Skyrim's my turf.
Last edited by Praxius; Aug 4, 2013 @ 5:46am
CryHavoc&LetSlipTheCreepsOfWar Aug 4, 2013 @ 5:51am 
Skyrim, man. Dragons, Walking trees (spriggans), cat people, vampires, werewolves, giants, a horse that can be a witness...
Maloy20 Aug 4, 2013 @ 6:01am 
that was a hilarious and true story my friend lol
Nice to Have Aug 4, 2013 @ 6:02am 
Last edited by Nice to Have; Aug 4, 2013 @ 6:03am
Marcy Aug 4, 2013 @ 6:14am 
Originally posted by Fernie Bot:
Skyrim, man. Dragons, Walking trees (spriggans), cat people, vampires, werewolves, giants, a horse that can be a witness...:venomousspider:

All that without smoking grass, or sniffing/eating moonsugar. If you know what I mean.
H3X Aug 4, 2013 @ 6:15am 
I'd heard about the chicken thing but didn't know that bug applied to other livestock as well lol. Good to know ;)
Major Moolah Aug 4, 2013 @ 7:24am 
You had a "Skyrim moment". The other day a certain named werewolf I had killed was walking in the area west of Whiterun, with it's head bobbing limply.
CryHavoc&LetSlipTheCreepsOfWar Aug 4, 2013 @ 7:28am 
Originally posted by Marcy:
Originally posted by Fernie Bot:
Skyrim, man. Dragons, Walking trees (spriggans), cat people, vampires, werewolves, giants, a horse that can be a witness...

All that without smoking grass, or sniffing/eating moonsugar. If you know what I mean.

Yes, though one does wonder if one can have a truly immersive Skyrim experience without a good full bottle of Skooma.
Shelt Aug 4, 2013 @ 7:29am 
ROFL
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Date Posted: Aug 4, 2013 @ 2:22am
Posts: 41