The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

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Thaissa Feb 23, 2013 @ 2:50pm
Funny things I have seen and heard in Skyrim--please add yours!
Just starting a new character to go through Dragonborn with, and got her to Riverwood. Went into Alvar's house and was peeking about to see what he had that I might, err, use, and got onto a chair to look at the top of a shelf. The little girl piped up, "That's not fair. *I'm* not allowed to climb on the furniture!"

Anyone else? :)
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Showing 1-15 of 26 comments
radbass2 Feb 23, 2013 @ 4:05pm 
I saw the village of Riverwood gangrape a master vampire before i could draw my sword. seriously... dont ♥♥♥♥ with riverwood's chickens.
maldyus_grm Feb 23, 2013 @ 5:12pm 
This happened last night while dungeon bashing banditos:after I send the bandit masterchef of the cave to his resting place, the pan that he was using to cook was buggy left hanging mid aiar in the mid of the passage I had to transcend to get to his room.Being pitch black I torpedoed a magelight at the hanging pan just for lullz to see how it goes.Physics and magic did their thing, magelight did hit the pan who flied to the floor,and magelight was pinned on the ceiling's point exactly above where the pan was.

That made my night entirely/
Jogon Feb 23, 2013 @ 5:20pm 
I arrived at Irkngthand to find Mercer Frey and started to get rid of the bandits. One was by a wall and I hit him with a firebolt which sent him straight up in the air to the height of the tower and then fall back to earth. If the firebolt didn't kill him the fall would have!
Skintanium Feb 23, 2013 @ 5:32pm 
I once lobbed a fireball spell at a dragon skeleton and it rocketed across the plains towards Whiterun.

When I arrirved at the front gates, one guard did their ususal "Keep an eye out for dragons" comment as the skeleton landed inside the city walls.
CAP Mar 5, 2013 @ 3:05pm 
Originally posted by radbass2:
I saw the village of Riverwood gangrape a master vampire before i could draw my sword. seriously... dont ♥♥♥♥ with riverwood's chickens.
speaking of Riverwood chickens: I walking up a hill. I meet a bear. I kill him. He slides right through me down the hill. Right through me! A little while later I'm walking through Riverwod and even though I am "walking" I'm not going any where. I look down and there in front of me is a Riverwood Clucker. It stopped me progress.
Kev Mar 5, 2013 @ 3:25pm 
I was attacked by a wolf and my companion (Vilja) killed it while shouting, “You’re a vicious ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ aren’t you.”

I nearly fell off my horse.
frogprincess_q4 Mar 5, 2013 @ 3:58pm 
I was jumping around in a blacksmith forge, casting healing spells on myself and just generally amusing myself, when the blacksmith says to me "there's nothing quite like the smell of white hot steel, is there". If I could have I would have pointed out that what he was smelling was actually white hot orc...
lloydmcdivitt Mar 6, 2013 @ 8:39am 
Once me & Lydia left our horses went adventuring on foot.When we got to the road by the Bandit Tower by Iverstead I called the horses.When they got there they kept on going.I go What the ...and then here came all those Bandits chasing them trying killeml.They totally ignored me.It took me 1/2 an hour to chasem down and killem and get my horses back.
gaqo Mar 6, 2013 @ 8:56am 
Yes, what is that, when everyone starts attacking everyone else; follower on follower, follower on horse, and with shouts and staffs, setting bandits against each. Sometimes I just sit back and have a virtual smoke, see who's left standing.
Deepblue Mar 6, 2013 @ 9:28am 
Got attacked by some of Miraak's cultists from the Dragonborn expansion while in Riften.
I picked up a body and proceeded to dump it somewhere.

A guard walking by said "Put that down", and so I did. Over the rails and into the water below.

Another is seeing the headless horseman's horse run past me and then the headless horseman himself a few minutes later chasing it. Poor guy, it's just not his day. :(
Last edited by Deepblue; Mar 6, 2013 @ 9:32am
CAP Mar 6, 2013 @ 1:29pm 
I attacked the Thalmor leading the prisoner, kill them all and get a bounty on my head. The only witness...the prisoner! I release the schmuck and he squeals on me.
Alliecienti Mar 6, 2013 @ 2:58pm 
I enjoy turning the cities into nudist colonies. When my pickpocket skill hits 100 and I get the Perfect Touch perk I sneak around stealing everyone's clothes and armor that I can so they walk the streets naked. Something funny about a naked guard saying "If I find you hand in my pocket, I'll cut it off." Ummm ..exactly what pocket are you referring to, sweetie? My name isn't Calligula.
Last edited by Alliecienti; Mar 6, 2013 @ 3:00pm
Chad Mar 6, 2013 @ 3:06pm 
Once, right after my character became a werewolf, a Whiterun guard said: "Ugh, you need to take a bath. You smell like a wet dog."
CAP Mar 7, 2013 @ 7:08am 
Strolling through Riverwood, again, I see poor Alvor lying in the street, dead. So I helps myself to some Iron and Steel Ingots, Figuring Alvor's not gonna need em. Awhile later I exit a dungeon and get attacked by three thugs. They want to beat me up for stealing. Who signed the note? Alvor> I guess he sent it from Sovengarde.
Wood Jiblomey Mar 7, 2013 @ 9:20am 
One time when I was out hunting as usual, I killed a deer but the arrow went up his♥♥♥♥♥♥
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Date Posted: Feb 23, 2013 @ 2:50pm
Posts: 26