level_41 Hat princess Apr 22, 2013 @ 4:46pm
Keith
If Ellis' stories are to be believed, Keith has suffered from third-degree burns over a major percentage of his body twice (95% making fireworks, 90% deep frying turkey), lost two fingers and a thumb to frostbite, broke both of his legs after driving his car off a cliff, been stabbed by "a guy dressed up like a ghost" , was tear-gassed by the police (the effects of which lasted for a year), snuck a paintball gun on a rollercoaster, got attacked by an alligator, bombed by the military (among the bombs, Ellis claims, were nerve gas and cluster bombs), (nearly) drowned in the Tunnel of Love, has done time in prison, got cut up by his own "bumper-car" lawnmower leaving him with wounds over 90% of his body, got cement paved over him in a sewer after falling down an open manhole, lived in a graveyard for a year after getting kicked out of his house, invented several types of soft drink, hung spit on the overhang in the Tunnel of Love, fell off a rollercoaster onto the tracks with the ride still going, got a tattoo on his forehead saying "I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥" for a dare, winning $200, ate three pounds of raw chicken (the in-game subtitles say catfish), he no longer recognizes his brother Paul and lost sensation in his right foot because of the three pounds of chicken, attempted to build a house out of mud, was attacked by owls, turned a recreation of Colonial times into a raccoon fight in his backyard, pretended to be homeless, had a water balloon fight with balloons full of urine, drove across a river without using the bridge, married a couple, and would have even gotten married himself, had he not ran away from his wedding. So is Keith chuck norris?
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ᕊᙓᗩᖇ Apr 22, 2013 @ 4:49pm 
Its clearly Keith Hernandez.
Mama Luigi Apr 22, 2013 @ 4:58pm 
This is the greatest discussion in the entire Left 4 Dead 2 forums.
level_41 Hat princess Apr 22, 2013 @ 4:58pm 
Originally posted by Mama Luigi:
This is the greatest discussion in the entire Left 4 Dead 2 forums.
Thx you
•·÷±Blue±÷·• Apr 22, 2013 @ 5:07pm 
Agreed, this is the greatest discussion I have read!!!
AscendingAnthem Apr 22, 2013 @ 5:33pm 
BEST DISSCUSSION EVAR. (well done for writing it all down)
Opal (banned) Apr 22, 2013 @ 5:54pm 
Originally posted by LT.kevlar knight:
If Ellis' stories are to be believed, Keith is Keith, but in a chicken suit.
I agree.
Zombie Panda (Master Vi) Apr 22, 2013 @ 7:04pm 
Left 4 Dead 2 Episode 2- Episode Keith
Sky Spider Girl空クモ Apr 22, 2013 @ 7:24pm 
KEITH!!! OH MY GOD I WONNA MEET THAT GUY, he seems cool. Love you Ellis, baby!
Naut-Feratu [#Patent] Apr 22, 2013 @ 7:44pm 
don't forget the story about the goats. and the mall.
flyinghitcher Apr 22, 2013 @ 11:49pm 
he may have more than one friend called Keith
Hannibal | ts.pbfortress.com Apr 23, 2013 @ 4:25am 
Originally posted by LT.kevlar knight:
If Ellis' stories are to be believed, Keith has suffered from third-degree burns over a major percentage of his body twice (95% making fireworks, 90% deep frying turkey), lost two fingers and a thumb to frostbite, broke both of his legs after driving his car off a cliff, been stabbed by "a guy dressed up like a ghost" , was tear-gassed by the police (the effects of which lasted for a year), snuck a paintball gun on a rollercoaster, got attacked by an alligator, bombed by the military (among the bombs, Ellis claims, were nerve gas and cluster bombs), (nearly) drowned in the Tunnel of Love, has done time in prison, got cut up by his own "bumper-car" lawnmower leaving him with wounds over 90% of his body, got cement paved over him in a sewer after falling down an open manhole, lived in a graveyard for a year after getting kicked out of his house, invented several types of soft drink, hung spit on the overhang in the Tunnel of Love, fell off a rollercoaster onto the tracks with the ride still going, got a tattoo on his forehead saying "I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥" for a dare, winning $200, ate three pounds of raw chicken (the in-game subtitles say catfish), he no longer recognizes his brother Paul and lost sensation in his right foot because of the three pounds of chicken, attempted to build a house out of mud, was attacked by owls, turned a recreation of Colonial times into a raccoon fight in his backyard, pretended to be homeless, had a water balloon fight with balloons full of urine, drove across a river without using the bridge, married a couple, and would have even gotten married himself, had he not ran away from his wedding. So is Keith chuck norris?

This is the single greatest thread in the history of the internet :D
Rain Darkrai Apr 23, 2013 @ 2:57pm 
Remember, Ellis has a line where he says he and Keith are stranded on a roof top during a zombie apocalypse but...
"Wait a sec... That's you guys!"

So, in conclusion, Keith is not Chuck Norris.
Keith ARE Chuck NorrisES.
acnoffsinger Apr 23, 2013 @ 9:22pm 
Actualy, if you got 3rd degree burns all over your body twice, you would be dead. Keith isn't Chuck Norris, Keith is GOD... that or he's using hax, and if he is using hax, I have a phone call to make.
Hannibal | ts.pbfortress.com Apr 24, 2013 @ 3:55am 
Originally posted by acnoffsinger:
Actualy, if you got 3rd degree burns all over your body twice, you would be dead. Keith isn't Chuck Norris, Keith is GOD... that or he's using hax, and if he is using hax, I have a phone call to make.

You do know the 3rd degree burns he got were 2 separate events with heaps of years apart (roughly going on his stories they were totally different times in his life)? and people have survived 3rd degree burns to their body haha XD
impliedword Apr 24, 2013 @ 9:34am 
Keith should replace bill. in l4d3, i dont know it i could handel a 3rd set of surviors.
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Date Posted: Apr 22, 2013 @ 4:46pm
Posts: 43