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Carl the arch-mage pony 22 apr 2013 om 4:46nm
Keith
If Ellis' stories are to be believed, Keith has suffered from third-degree burns over a major percentage of his body twice (95% making fireworks, 90% deep frying turkey), lost two fingers and a thumb to frostbite, broke both of his legs after driving his car off a cliff, been stabbed by "a guy dressed up like a ghost" , was tear-gassed by the police (the effects of which lasted for a year), snuck a paintball gun on a rollercoaster, got attacked by an alligator, bombed by the military (among the bombs, Ellis claims, were nerve gas and cluster bombs), (nearly) drowned in the Tunnel of Love, has done time in prison, got cut up by his own "bumper-car" lawnmower leaving him with wounds over 90% of his body, got cement paved over him in a sewer after falling down an open manhole, lived in a graveyard for a year after getting kicked out of his house, invented several types of soft drink, hung spit on the overhang in the Tunnel of Love, fell off a rollercoaster onto the tracks with the ride still going, got a tattoo on his forehead saying "I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥" for a dare, winning $200, ate three pounds of raw chicken (the in-game subtitles say catfish), he no longer recognizes his brother Paul and lost sensation in his right foot because of the three pounds of chicken, attempted to build a house out of mud, was attacked by owls, turned a recreation of Colonial times into a raccoon fight in his backyard, pretended to be homeless, had a water balloon fight with balloons full of urine, drove across a river without using the bridge, married a couple, and would have even gotten married himself, had he not ran away from his wedding. So is Keith chuck norris?
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ᗷᗴᗩᖇ 22 apr 2013 om 4:49nm 
Its clearly Keith Hernandez.
Mama Luigi 22 apr 2013 om 4:58nm 
This is the greatest discussion in the entire Left 4 Dead 2 forums.
Carl the arch-mage pony 22 apr 2013 om 4:58nm 
Origineel geplaatst door Mama Luigi:
This is the greatest discussion in the entire Left 4 Dead 2 forums.
Thx you
•·÷±Blue±÷·• 22 apr 2013 om 5:07nm 
Agreed, this is the greatest discussion I have read!!!
AscendingAnthem 22 apr 2013 om 5:33nm 
BEST DISSCUSSION EVAR. (well done for writing it all down)
Opal (Verbannen) 22 apr 2013 om 5:54nm 
Origineel geplaatst door LT.kevlar knight:
If Ellis' stories are to be believed, Keith is Keith, but in a chicken suit.
I agree.
Zombie Panda (Master Vi) 22 apr 2013 om 7:04nm 
Left 4 Dead 2 Episode 2- Episode Keith
Sky Spider Girl空クモ 22 apr 2013 om 7:24nm 
KEITH!!! OH MY GOD I WONNA MEET THAT GUY, he seems cool. Love you Ellis, baby!
Laatst bewerkt door Sky Spider Girl空クモ; 22 apr 2013 om 7:24nm
Nauttie [#Patent[ 22 apr 2013 om 7:44nm 
don't forget the story about the goats. and the mall.
flyinghitcher 22 apr 2013 om 11:49nm 
he may have more than one friend called Keith
=PB A= Mr.Diddlez 23 apr 2013 om 4:25vm 
Origineel geplaatst door LT.kevlar knight:
If Ellis' stories are to be believed, Keith has suffered from third-degree burns over a major percentage of his body twice (95% making fireworks, 90% deep frying turkey), lost two fingers and a thumb to frostbite, broke both of his legs after driving his car off a cliff, been stabbed by "a guy dressed up like a ghost" , was tear-gassed by the police (the effects of which lasted for a year), snuck a paintball gun on a rollercoaster, got attacked by an alligator, bombed by the military (among the bombs, Ellis claims, were nerve gas and cluster bombs), (nearly) drowned in the Tunnel of Love, has done time in prison, got cut up by his own "bumper-car" lawnmower leaving him with wounds over 90% of his body, got cement paved over him in a sewer after falling down an open manhole, lived in a graveyard for a year after getting kicked out of his house, invented several types of soft drink, hung spit on the overhang in the Tunnel of Love, fell off a rollercoaster onto the tracks with the ride still going, got a tattoo on his forehead saying "I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥" for a dare, winning $200, ate three pounds of raw chicken (the in-game subtitles say catfish), he no longer recognizes his brother Paul and lost sensation in his right foot because of the three pounds of chicken, attempted to build a house out of mud, was attacked by owls, turned a recreation of Colonial times into a raccoon fight in his backyard, pretended to be homeless, had a water balloon fight with balloons full of urine, drove across a river without using the bridge, married a couple, and would have even gotten married himself, had he not ran away from his wedding. So is Keith chuck norris?

This is the single greatest thread in the history of the internet :D
Rain Darkrai 23 apr 2013 om 2:57nm 
Remember, Ellis has a line where he says he and Keith are stranded on a roof top during a zombie apocalypse but...
"Wait a sec... That's you guys!"

So, in conclusion, Keith is not Chuck Norris.
Keith ARE Chuck NorrisES.
acnoffsinger 23 apr 2013 om 9:22nm 
Actualy, if you got 3rd degree burns all over your body twice, you would be dead. Keith isn't Chuck Norris, Keith is GOD... that or he's using hax, and if he is using hax, I have a phone call to make.
=PB A= Mr.Diddlez 24 apr 2013 om 3:55vm 
Origineel geplaatst door acnoffsinger:
Actualy, if you got 3rd degree burns all over your body twice, you would be dead. Keith isn't Chuck Norris, Keith is GOD... that or he's using hax, and if he is using hax, I have a phone call to make.

You do know the 3rd degree burns he got were 2 separate events with heaps of years apart (roughly going on his stories they were totally different times in his life)? and people have survived 3rd degree burns to their body haha XD
impliedword 24 apr 2013 om 9:34vm 
Keith should replace bill. in l4d3, i dont know it i could handel a 3rd set of surviors.
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