Fast Twitch Mar 13, 2013 @ 12:54pm
Guys, I have an extra L4D2 copy for you!
Tell me your name and about yourself. The most creative/funniest one gets the copy. Don't be honest because I'm sure there isn't anything entertaining about your RL. Winner will be selected Friday at 6pm CST. ( l4d2 is 4.99 till Monday) If your reading posts reply letting us know your favorite.

I like you guys definitely not scrubs. <3
Last edited by Fast Twitch; Mar 15, 2013 @ 1:46pm
Showing 1-15 of 43 comments
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C'PTN HORNY Mar 13, 2013 @ 1:11pm 
When I was a kid, I asked my mum: "Mom why are some of your hairs turning grey?"

She then told me this: "It is because of you, every bad action of you will turn one of my hairs grey."

I then replied to her: "Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head."

(I then didn't really know what caused the her grey hair, but of course I knew it wasn't because of my bad actions, I kinda half believed It actually bad then.)
Fast Twitch Mar 13, 2013 @ 1:11pm 
Originally posted by C'PTN HORNY:
When I was a kid, I asked my mum: "Mom why are some of your hairs turning grey?"

She then told me this: "It is because of you, every bad action of you will turn one of my hairs grey."

I then replied to her: "Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head."

(I then didn't really know what caused the her grey hair, but of course I knew it wasn't because of my bad actions, I kinda half believed It actually bad then.)

heh cute
^5Pussy Destroyer Mar 13, 2013 @ 1:20pm 
I asked mom why i should never open that closet and so i opened it and a giant black eel came slithering out of the crack and it strangled me with its giant black slimy muscles. before i could fight it off a large african american man entered the room and screamed "hey thats my di.ck" whoooops if i could give birth to a thousand spiders and have them all crawl out of my as.s and thats the best super power anybody could have like seriously try robbing a bank while i shoot spiders out of my as.s i shot a dog on the way to work
Last edited by ^5Pussy Destroyer; Mar 13, 2013 @ 1:21pm
alreadydead98 Mar 13, 2013 @ 1:24pm 
I was about seven and we were getting ready for dinnerbut my sister was out side. So i went to get her only to find her throughing sticks at our tree. So i walked over to her and said "Hay what are you doing?" She replied "I don't know." Then she chucked a stick at the tree and she yelled "look out!" as I was walking away. I turned around and got hit in the eye. I got a scare under my left eye and my first black eye.
ᗷᗴᗩᖇ Mar 13, 2013 @ 1:36pm 
I was walking to school one morning and while walking down the sidewalk I saw a dog sitting next to a mailbox. As I came closer the dog seemed to lock eyes with me. Not really paying attention I kept walking only to hear someone behind me say "Hey kid". I look around and theres no one insight so I shrug and continue on my way. Before I can even take another step I hear the same voice say "down here you idiot". I quickly turn around to see that same very dog at the base of my feet. As I starred in disbelief that same voice seeming to eminate from the dog itself said "yeah im talking jackass".

Not knowing what to do I just stood there frozen. As the shock of coming across a talking dog began to wore off I arose the courage to finally speak. All that came out was "umm hi?" The dog stood on its back legs and once again I heard the voice. "Hey bytch my names lamar If you ride me I can show you a whole new world". At this point figuring I must just be dreaming I went along and began to ride lamar. As I mounted him it was almost like we blasted away from the earth into space. Seeing worlds and galaxies zoom by as we flew through space and time I finally relaxed and letted out an excited yelp.

As the yelp escaped my mouth the pcp began to wear off and the wonders of space faded to a dark alley. There looking back at me a very confused lamar who was no longer fuzzy and cute. "bytch why you stop I was about to kum"

I died from aids three weeks later.
Last edited by ᗷᗴᗩᖇ; Mar 13, 2013 @ 1:39pm
MunkeyThrust Mar 13, 2013 @ 1:36pm 
Hey ♥♥♥♥♥, how about you gimme the game and maybe I'll untie your mom and let her walk around a little bit. But then its back in the crawlspace. That's a winner eh?
InfamousBacon Mar 13, 2013 @ 1:39pm 
My name is Hank. I was playing on top of a hill on a sunny day, zooming paper airplanes I had made, back and forth, side to side, letting the wind pick them up and glide down to the town below. I was having a good time, living ignorantly in my child mind. Suddenly, the sun was swollen shut, by thick grey clouds. They were moist, and longing to release the buckets of pouring rain that came afterwards. A small light simmered through the clouds, on to the top of the hill, shining on me. I heard a voice whisper down to me from above, it was the voice of God. "You must pay for your sins!", God cried out. "You have covered that poor old mans yard with paper airplanes. He did nothing to you!", God exclaimed in vain. I shivered, tensing up at the excruciating punishment that I was about to endure. I started to whimper, tears running down my cheeks, and splashing down to the ground with the rain. God heard this, and glanced down before him, presented to him being a mere child, innocent to the world, and it's evils. "Small boy, do you realize what you must do?", God asks, more softly in tone this time. The boy, being me, looked up at him sheepishly, but more comfortable now, as the man in the sky smiled at me warmly. "No...", I whisper, looking down at the mud puddles that the rain created. "You must name yourself after this hill, and remind the world of your experience here today, to prevent it from happening again."

God raised his hand, bashing his finger down in my direction. A cloud of smoke filled the area infront of me beams emitted from his finger. A propane grill lay near me, and we grilled steaks and talked for the rest of the night. That day as always stuck with me, so now I am Hank Hill, and I sell propane and propane accessories.
Last edited by InfamousBacon; Mar 13, 2013 @ 1:43pm
Magic(Acid) CocoPuffs Mar 13, 2013 @ 3:49pm 
i lik chiken
Fast Twitch Mar 13, 2013 @ 4:27pm 
Originally posted by InfamousBacon:
My name is Hank. I was playing on top of a hill on a sunny day, zooming paper airplanes I had made, back and forth, side to side, letting the wind pick them up and glide down to the town below. I was having a good time, living ignorantly in my child mind. Suddenly, the sun was swollen shut, by thick grey clouds. They were moist, and longing to release the buckets of pouring rain that came afterwards. A small light simmered through the clouds, on to the top of the hill, shining on me. I heard a voice whisper down to me from above, it was the voice of God. "You must pay for your sins!", God cried out. "You have covered that poor old mans yard with paper airplanes. He did nothing to you!", God exclaimed in vain. I shivered, tensing up at the excruciating punishment that I was about to endure. I started to whimper, tears running down my cheeks, and splashing down to the ground with the rain. God heard this, and glanced down before him, presented to him being a mere child, innocent to the world, and it's evils. "Small boy, do you realize what you must do?", God asks, more softly in tone this time. The boy, being me, looked up at him sheepishly, but more comfortable now, as the man in the sky smiled at me warmly. "No...", I whisper, looking down at the mud puddles that the rain created. "You must name yourself after this hill, and remind the world of your experience here today, to prevent it from happening again."

God raised his hand, bashing his finger down in my direction. A cloud of smoke filled the area infront of me beams emitted from his finger. A propane grill lay near me, and we grilled steaks and talked for the rest of the night. That day as always stuck with me, so now I am Hank Hill, and I sell propane and propane accessories.

rofl
Fast Twitch Mar 13, 2013 @ 4:27pm 
Originally posted by CLIVEBEAROWENS:
I was walking to school one morning and while walking down the sidewalk I saw a dog sitting next to a mailbox. As I came closer the dog seemed to lock eyes with me. Not really paying attention I kept walking only to hear someone behind me say "Hey kid". I look around and theres no one insight so I shrug and continue on my way. Before I can even take another step I hear the same voice say "down here you idiot". I quickly turn around to see that same very dog at the base of my feet. As I starred in disbelief that same voice seeming to eminate from the dog itself said "yeah im talking jackass".

Not knowing what to do I just stood there frozen. As the shock of coming across a talking dog began to wore off I arose the courage to finally speak. All that came out was "umm hi?" The dog stood on its back legs and once again I heard the voice. "Hey bytch my names lamar If you ride me I can show you a whole new world". At this point figuring I must just be dreaming I went along and began to ride lamar. As I mounted him it was almost like we blasted away from the earth into space. Seeing worlds and galaxies zoom by as we flew through space and time I finally relaxed and letted out an excited yelp.

As the yelp escaped my mouth the pcp began to wear off and the wonders of space faded to a dark alley. There looking back at me a very confused lamar who was no longer fuzzy and cute. "bytch why you stop I was about to kum"

I died from aids three weeks later.

RIP
GaryMagic Mar 13, 2013 @ 5:41pm 
You wanna know about me? Well okay. I know you people are probably going to make a field day out of this, but please read my whole question first before you decide to attack me, so you know where I am coming from. It has to do with my wife and me, as she is a big part of my life. But I can't help it but to beat her. I try to hold back, but there is nothing I can do, it just happens that way

It never used to happen, but now it's almost an everyday occurrence. At first we kept it to ourselves, but every now and then she has to go and tell all of her friends. I can handle that. As a matter of fact, i've beaten one or two of them in the past. Just not in the same humiliating fashion.

I've tried everything. It's not helping. I think this is like an addiction. I can't wait for her to get home from work so I can beat her some more. Deep down I know she enjoys it. After all, it is some of the best time we get to spend together, and I just want her to be able to appreciate it the way I do.

I almost feel guilty about my actions, as I would have to say that I have a knack for it, and I'm pretty damned good at it to be honest. Sometimes however, I just wish she would put up a better fight. I mean on some days I am definitely not impressed by her performance. I want to make videos of this and put it on Youtube, but i am worried that people will make fun of her for her lack of ability to defend herself and she might feel embarassed.

So I've tried to reason with her, but she just persists on coming back for more. Kind of like that leftover turd in your toilet that never seems to flush. I don't know what more she wants out of me, and quite honestly my hands are still pretty sore from the beating i delivered to her this morning. Maybe i need therapy, or a better way to massage my hands.

I can't remember the countless Thursday night's I have spent, beating her in front of our friends. Sometimes I even let them get in on the action and beat her too. And when she cheats, I still manage to lay down the law and it feels that much more rewarding. I can't even recall the number of times I have passed up some bedroom intimacy for the satisfaction of laying the hammer down some more!!

I mean what more can i say? I derive great pleasure from these actions, but really I think she needs help. I mean i've tried to hold off for a while and take a break, but every time i manage to do so, she just misses it too badly, and so do I. I'm trying everything to stop, but I'm having way too much fun! I think she's getting better at taking the punishment however. She doesn't seem to cry anymore when I'm doing it, and things aren't flying around the room and breaking as much as they used to.

So I figured i'd come to you guys for advice. Why the hell not right?! So anyways is there any advice I should give to the old lady to make her any better at video games???
Fast Twitch Mar 13, 2013 @ 5:56pm 
Originally posted by GaryMagic:
You wanna know about me? Well okay. I know you people are probably going to make a field day out of this, but please read my whole question first before you decide to attack me, so you know where I am coming from. It has to do with my wife and me, as she is a big part of my life. But I can't help it but to beat her. I try to hold back, but there is nothing I can do, it just happens that way

It never used to happen, but now it's almost an everyday occurrence. At first we kept it to ourselves, but every now and then she has to go and tell all of her friends. I can handle that. As a matter of fact, i've beaten one or two of them in the past. Just not in the same humiliating fashion.

I've tried everything. It's not helping. I think this is like an addiction. I can't wait for her to get home from work so I can beat her some more. Deep down I know she enjoys it. After all, it is some of the best time we get to spend together, and I just want her to be able to appreciate it the way I do.

I almost feel guilty about my actions, as I would have to say that I have a knack for it, and I'm pretty damned good at it to be honest. Sometimes however, I just wish she would put up a better fight. I mean on some days I am definitely not impressed by her performance. I want to make videos of this and put it on Youtube, but i am worried that people will make fun of her for her lack of ability to defend herself and she might feel embarassed.

So I've tried to reason with her, but she just persists on coming back for more. Kind of like that leftover turd in your toilet that never seems to flush. I don't know what more she wants out of me, and quite honestly my hands are still pretty sore from the beating i delivered to her this morning. Maybe i need therapy, or a better way to massage my hands.

I can't remember the countless Thursday night's I have spent, beating her in front of our friends. Sometimes I even let them get in on the action and beat her too. And when she cheats, I still manage to lay down the law and it feels that much more rewarding. I can't even recall the number of times I have passed up some bedroom intimacy for the satisfaction of laying the hammer down some more!!

I mean what more can i say? I derive great pleasure from these actions, but really I think she needs help. I mean i've tried to hold off for a while and take a break, but every time i manage to do so, she just misses it too badly, and so do I. I'm trying everything to stop, but I'm having way too much fun! I think she's getting better at taking the punishment however. She doesn't seem to cry anymore when I'm doing it, and things aren't flying around the room and breaking as much as they used to.

So I figured i'd come to you guys for advice. Why the hell not right?! So anyways is there any advice I should give to the old lady to make her any better at video games???

lulz
MunkeyThrust Mar 14, 2013 @ 5:45am 
Still waiting for my free game ♥♥♥♥♥, your moms sobbing is starting to ♥♥♥♥ me off.
Andy McKee Mar 14, 2013 @ 7:25am 
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went into the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my wo-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me ♥♥♥♥ too" and started blasting her music and grunting.
kasemtheassassin (Banned) Mar 14, 2013 @ 8:38am 
today my sister was watching justing bieber then my granny came and saw that then she said:"why is that girl is dressed up like a man" i LOLED so hard
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Date Posted: Mar 13, 2013 @ 12:54pm
Posts: 43