2 of 2 people (100%) found this review helpful
Darksiders II is pretty cool I guess.
You play as Raziel from Legacy of Kain, only he got really buff and super hot and calls himself Death now.
That last comment still doesn't make me gay.
Darksiders is a universe where Heaven and Hell have super slap fights so metal that another group called the Charred council told them to cut it out before they get the bigger, meaner school bullies to come beat them up. These school bullies are called the Horsemen, the survivors of a race of giant super soldiers called the Nephilim. Not to be confused with the big dumb nephelim from DmC: Devil May Cry who looked like they crashed into a H&M store and just kind of tried everything on without paying. These Nephilim are War, Death, Strife, And their hot sister Fury. Who I totally want to hold hands with.
See, I'm not gay.
Between this big mess of warring races and super soldiers, there are us, humans, also known as monkey goblins. Since Heaven and Hell are super strong and have big scary pointy weapons, the Charred council told the two to postpone their thunder-dome sized mosh pit until humanity has the cajones to actually put up a fight, which would probably involve giant robots and plasma cannons. And nuclear fists, especially nuclear fists. This truce however comes crashing down when one of the seals that stops the worlds biggest game of hand slaps is broken and War is blamed. So while in the first game you played as War as he recreates his love for the Zelda series, in this one you play as the much cooler Death, who sets out to clear his brothers name. Like my brother did that one time I was caught peeing in the Gym shower. Sorry Paul.
The combat is like a mix between an action-RPG and the good Devil May Cry series, the ones that don't star My Chemical Romance in the lead role. You can fight with dual scythes as well as a secondary weapon that could be anything from an overcompensating hammer to an overcompensating sword, to sock-em boppers and hulk hands, to an even bigger hammer.
This two button system works well together, allowing you to chain combos into air combos and into finishers like you're good at Guilty Gear or something. Not to mention all the other cool stuff like acrobatics and your trusty battle horse.
Many people who pretended to play Darksiders II would tell you that Death is a brooding, edgy, and trying-to-hard-to-be-cool protagonist. These people are liars and you shouldn't listen to them, they'll also probably tell you that the hot grade 7 science teacher is also into Junior high kids with mustaches and thick, gold-rimmed glasses. Isn't that right, KEVIN? Anyway, Death is actually pretty okay to be around, despite his name. He cracks jokes, provokes people to fight him, laughs at funny situations, shows emotional attachments, especially to his siblings, and likes to talk in that gravely, sexy voice of his. He also shows mercy, and even grants death (LIKE HIS NAME! ITS IN HIS NAME!) to those who wish for it. Death is by all means not a bad character, though he probably puts off those who have short attention spans, don't like to pay attention, or just judge books by their cover, I.e most video game critics.
Your journey should last you about 21 hours, at least it did for me. I did many of the side quests, especially the hunting ones where you challenge powerful side bosses to large scale games of hop scotch and murder. The story is pretty grand and not at all hard to follow, it takes many strides with its own lore and basks in it unapolegetically. The lore in games like this are usually ignored and flat out pretended not to be there mostly because people don't want to talk about it, but its there. There's politics, war (no pun intended), character back story, intrigue, and even Death himself develops in some ways. It's like a fantasy novel if it had sexy times with a heavy metal album cover. Dirty.
Should you play Darksiders II? I honestly say you should, its fun, grand, and feels like you're on an adventure, which many games fail to capivate. For its price, its kind of a good deal, but you can always wait for it to go on sale.
I give Darksiders 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12...Out of 10. I guess.
You can't hug your children with nuclear arms.