421 people found this review helpful 5 people found this review funny
40.2 hrs on record
Posted: November 25, 2013
I'd like to start off by saying that I've actually beaten this game. Second, I should note that I'm a horse person. I've been riding hunt-seat for quite a few years now, and consider myself fairly well-versed in equine knowledge. But you don't need a lick of knowledge to play this game.
You got this game from a friend, didn't you? Probably during the Winter or Summer sale. Because no one in their right mind would buy this game for themself, unless it was to occupy a seven year-old for a while. But whatever. It's in your library now. And if you want to 100% it, you have to beat it. And to beat it you need five level 5 horses of each different breed. The objective of the game is straightforward. Get the magic crystals. It took me about 20 hours to accomplish this, but I bet it could be done faster. The game is simple. Buy a horse, wait for it to be an adult, train it to max, breed it, sell it, rinse and repeat. It just takes a very, very long time since you can't breed a level 5 horse with another horse. Each level 5 horse requires sixteen level 2 horses, eight level 3s, and four level 4s. All of which need to be trained fully. Each training segment is a simple DDR-ish sequence that takes maybe a minute and a half each time. You have to train a horse six times for it to be fully trained. And you have to do this with every. Single. Horse. Obviously, this is a good game to play while watching Netflix or YouTube on a second monitor or something. There's quite a bit of waiting involved, so if you want to catch up on a series while you play, this is the best game to do so in.
Some things you should know about the game: - save files don't transfer from computer to computer - there's a crap ton of Engrish in this game - the game will pause if you click out of the window
But, I suppose it all comes down to this: Did I have fun playing it? And to that I say: Yeah, I guess. Give this to your young siblings and let them have fun with it.
63 people found this review helpful 5 people found this review funny
40.2 hrs on record
Posted: September 16, 2015
Getting close to 100% completion, so let's review this mofo.
It's a grindfest with a lot of bad design choices.
For starters, there are two kinds of racing. The first is included in the base game. You send your horse out, and it comes back a minute later with prize money. Minimal involvement on your end. The PLAYABLE horse racing requires you to shell out $4 for the DLC.
Each horse can only mate once, which makes no goddamn sense. Have a cooldown on breeding? Some kind of inbreeding penalty mechanic? Nope. Once your horses have a baby, neither horse can mate ever again.
Then there's the sale mechanic. The sale price is based on level, and there's no way to adjust it. When you sell your horse, all the items you bought for its stall are taken along with it. You get the same amount of money for horse + default items as you do for horse + fancy items. You get the same amout of money for a maxed out first-class race horse as you do for a horse that isn't.
For horse selection on most screens, you have to click the little arrow buttons to cycle through your roster. You can't click them until the walk-on/off animation is finished. Not too bad if you have 1-2 horses, but when you have 4+, it's a pain in the♥♥♥♥♥ There's no way to skip this animation. The only screen where the animation is missing is the stable, but you still have to cycle through ALL the stalls(including empty ones) to get to the horse you want.
The graphics are pretty meh. Except for the $3 dress-up items, which are just atrocious. The english is passable, but it's clear that english is not the devs' first language.
All the achievements are pretty easy to get, if rather tedious. Get it in a bundle, or 90% off.
171 people found this review helpful 152 people found this review funny
2.3 hrs on record
Posted: October 13, 2014
Some ♥♥♥♥♥♥ gave me this game as a joke but jokes on him I met the love of my life, took care of her when she needed me, forced her to fornicate and produce offspring for my own twisted pleasure, and then sold her off and used to proceeds to buy a new love and start all over.
60 people found this review helpful 6 people found this review funny
3.7 hrs on record
Posted: June 24, 2015
Ok, so you know what? This game looks beautiful. But the gameplay is terrible.
Upgrading your farm and buying more horses sounds like a ton of fun. But earning money is just sending your horse of on quests and waiting for it to come back. Oh, and if the weather turns bad while it is away, there is a chance of your horse getting sick. Which means you have to spend even more money to cure it. What a pain.
You can increase your horses stats by either training it, mixing potions, or making horseshoes. To do this you must tap arrow keys as they lazily cross the screen. It's like DDR for snails.
If you decided to buy the DLC, you can also earn money in a Mario Kart-esque racing game. It's pretty bad too, but at least more fun than sitting doing nothing. The Dress Up is cool too, it gave me a few laughs, but you have to repurchase costumes for new horses. Which means you must go back to the painful process of earning cash. I wouldn't recommend the Soundtrack / Coloring Book, as the book only has 10 pages and you'll be tired of the soundtrack after an hour of gameplay.
So that about covers it. This is probably a game better suited for young kids than a 19 year old.
135 people found this review helpful 6 people found this review funny
214.1 hrs on record
Posted: January 3, 2014
This game has everything needed in a successful video game: love, drama, comedy, action...
It truly has transcended our generation's understanding of what makes a video game. This is something more; this is the quintessence of artistry in a digital medium. There are little words to express the absolute majesty of this game, from the cutting edge graphical quality to the intricate character detail with every well-purposed polygon to shape a beautiful beast on the screen.
This video game will no doubt continue on for generations to be remembered as one of the art masterpieces of the 21st century, much like the works of William Shakespeare, Vincent Van Gogh, Michelangelo, Stephanie Meyer, and J. K. Rowling.
Truly the capability to own such a game for the price of $4.99 is a steal, but if you manage to acquire it at its sale price of $0.99, you should be reported for theft for even attempting to get away with such a heinous crime.
Truly, in short, this game is no doubt underappreciated, as it is ahead of its time. Aptly said, this game is like Batman: it's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. Perhaps in a world where chauvinist bigotry is not the societal norm, we can all learn to appreciate this game for its truly artistic nature.
This "game" is adware, when its running its in contsant communications with several analytics servers. Over 80% of the packets sent from this "game" while its running are sent to gameanalytics.com
Aside from this shady activity, the "game" itself is nothing but a few mini games. Theres no tutorial for new players. The story line is very loosely written and doesn't explain anything. It's a bunch of pretty graphics with no content. I wasn't expecting much for the price I paid, but the lackadaisical construction of this game combined with selling my information to some analytics company makes me very dissapointed. If I had bought this game on steam directly, it would be the first game I ever asked for a refund for.