Публикувани: 22 декември
Team Fortress 2 has been regularly updated since its inception in 2007, after over nine years in development. Due to all these updates, the game has actually taken on several incarnations. In other words, I will be individually reviewing the following three separate games:
Team Fortress 2 (2007-2010)
Hat Fortress 2 (2010-2012)
Dressup Fortress 2 (2012-present)
-You can regularly defy the laws of physics in too many ways to be listed.
-Scouts can fly by flapping their legs.
-A can of soda turns you into the Super-Matrix; you can make bullets dodge you.
-Some pistols can make you jump higher or fully absorb the impact of falling at any velocity.
-Coating someone in milk and then beating them up will cure your cancer.
-Steel-toed boots make shooting rockets at your feet less unhealthy.
-Whipping people makes them run faster.
-A big Russian guy can survive as many direct hits from an anti-tank missile as a Russian T-72 tank can.
-Blowing into a seashell can patch the gunshot wounds of everyone around you.
-Flamethrowers can also shoot a powerful blast of air that can send people flying or rockets back to their maker.
-You can beat people to death with a bottle of whiskey.
-You can decapitate people with a golf club.
-Eating a sandvich will cure AIDS, mend katana wounds, and treat your erectile dysfunction.
-Hitting a machine with a wrench will fix it, upgrade it, and resupply it.
-Dispensers generate ammo for your weapon and pills for your back pain.
-A remote control with one big red button can be used to destroy one of any four buildings of your choosing.
-You can shoot up morphine with a crossbow.
-You can use a beam of light to turn someone’s exterior skin and clothing into pure titanium armor.
-Pretending to play the violin with a bonesaw used for amputation will cure the common cold.
-Urine is more effective than a fire extinguisher.
-Frenchmen with ski masks are incapable of stabbing their victims in the neck. When they encounter Australians with shields on their backs, they’ll stab the shield first… Making the shield disintegrate.
-A pocket watch can partially absorb the damage caused by a rocket, create a deceased doppelganger of you, all while you become invisible and walk away.
-If you backstab someone with an icicle, they’ll instantly transform into a highly-durable ice sculpture.
Team Fortress 2 (2007-2010)
This was a team-based first person shooter involving two identical teams, differing only in color and artistic design, vying for control of various strategic locales around the world. You could play as one of nine cripplingly overspecialized classes. The various classes would have to pool their strengths together and cooperate in order to prevail over the opposing team. However, this was easier said than done as communication and teamwork were (and still are) generally foreign concepts. Teams would have to beat each other up and steal their briefcases, beat each other up and steal their stage lighting platforms, and beat each other up to push a high explosive bomb cart into a pit. Hats were just a cool side thing. Many people would stand around and do nothing on dedicated idle servers so that they could amass the metal necessary to craft themselves a new hat.
Overall, Team Fortress 2 was a fun and highly addictive game whether or not there was a team or no team involved.
Over 9 out of 9, worth the weight.
Hat Fortress 2 (2010-2012)
The Mann-Conomy Update, released on September 30, 2010, marked the end of Team Fortress 2 and the birth of Hat Fortress 2. Players no longer needed to idle to get hats. They could also buy them, trade for them, and even sell them for other hats. In addition, keys were also introduced, giving players the ability to throw away their parent’s or their own hard-earned money on opening virtual crates in the hopes of getting virtual hats. More often than not, they ended up getting worthless virtual guns. The Mann-Conomy fever quickly swept over Team Fortress 2, reducing it to a side game. Hat Fortress 2 was about accumulating as many hats as possible by any means necessary and then using the Team Fortress 2 mini-game to show them off to others. The free-to-play update in 2011 further enlarged the player base, increasing the popularity of Hat Fortress 2, its modes, and related fun mini-games. As Hat Fortress 2 was further refined and developed, new elements were added, including unusuals and non-hat cosmetic items. Eventually, so many new cosmetics came in that Hat Fortress 2 gradually evolved into another game.
11 hats out of 10.
Dressup Fortress 2 (2012-Present)
This is the current and ultimate form of Team Fortress 2. The game is centered on assembling a complete outfit for each of the classes that you play. You can acquire the components for your dream outfit by unboxing crates of all shapes and sizes and/or by implementing any one of the many trading strategies out there. You can show off your outfits, topped off with exorbitant unusual hats, in a multitude of ways. You can do the conga, hi-five other folks adorned with fancy and quirky outfits, play intense games of rock, paper, scissors, or play Jack Black’s guitar. You can also play whatever vestiges remain of the old Team Fortress 2. You could also play Mann vs. Machine and acquire stock weapons with robotic skulls hanging from them or perhaps even become The Man with the Golden Gun. If neither of those are satisfactory, there are a wide range of other mini-games to play, some of which have been around since the days of old Team Fortress 2. They include, but are not limited to: Versus Saxton Hale, Freak Fortress 2, Jailbreak, Balloon Race, TF2 Kart, magic spells in Halloween event maps, Slender Fortress, Surf maps, Jump maps, and TF2Ware.
In conclusion, Dressup Fortress 2 does provide something for everyone, so I guess it’s alright.
11/10 iterations of Gaben. And my favorite class is the Spy. Thanks, and have fun!