"A Journey In The Gravel War"

[Maggot]

this is a prepositional peom based on TF2 that i made in school that my class really liked so i though i'd share it with you guys,enjoy.

"In the trenches,
Between the gravel pits,
Between the dust bowls,
Near the rocket fire,
Under the barb wire,
Around the control point,
Inside the badlands,
Beyond the resupply lockers,
Through the teams of mercenaries,
Around the fence,
Inside 2Fort""Is the intel, ready to be captured."

[anatoliec]

What the-

Google won't even TELL me when a prepositional poem is. What is this, for some middle school English class?






You misspelled mercenaries.

[Jingle]

Now I'm no expert on poems, but I'm fairly certain you don't need to put every line in quotations. One at the beginning and one at the end will do fine.

Also, 7/10 it wasn't terrible.

[Neofunctional]

Not bad.
Mercenaries is spelled wrong, and it only rhymed once.
7/10

[Maggot]

thanks for the politeness, i have corrected the spelling mistake on mercenaries and removed most of the quotation marks besides the beginning and the ending ones.

[Tomix]

Seems pretty good, 8/10
Just out of curiosity, do your classmates play videogames or something? If that was my old high school they'd have just called me a ♥♥♥♥♥ and the teacher would've given me, like, a 30%.

[Neofunctional]

Tomix a écrit :

Seems pretty good, 8/10
Just out of curiosity, do your classmates play videogames or something? If that was my old high school they'd have just called me a ♥♥♥♥♥ and the teacher would've given me, like, a 30%.

Same here, except they'd complain about how it didn't have Call Of Duty in it.

[Maggot]

actually they are not gamers at all and this was the peom my teacher liked the best

[Tomix]

{TF2BT}Sergeant Major DFS a écrit :

actually they are not gamers at all and this was the peom my teacher liked the best

What were the other poems like?

[Maggot]

mostly things about life,pets,themselves etc.

[Shark Guy]

I had a poem about Portal,but I don't remember how it went.

[Glaistig]

So pr0
He needs a

[Conga Lyne]

{TF2BT}Sergeant Major DFS a écrit :

this is a prepositional peom based on TF2 that i made in school that my class really liked so i though i'd share it with you guys,enjoy.

"In the trenches,
Between the gravel pits,
Between the dust bowls,
Near the rocket fire,
Under the barb wire,
Around the control point,
Inside the badlands,
Beyond the resupply lockers,
Through the teams of mercenaries,
Around the fence,
Inside 2Fort""Is the intel, ready to be captured."

It doesn't have a proper ending nor is it telling me what the poem is based about.
If you want to post a poem it has it be atleast year 7-8 level

[jiji]

This is awful.

[Shark Guy]

DemoPan a écrit :

{TF2BT}Sergeant Major DFS a écrit :

this is a prepositional peom based on TF2 that i made in school that my class really liked so i though i'd share it with you guys,enjoy.

"In the trenches,
Between the gravel pits,
Between the dust bowls,
Near the rocket fire,
Under the barb wire,
Around the control point,
Inside the badlands,
Beyond the resupply lockers,
Through the teams of mercenaries,
Around the fence,
Inside 2Fort""Is the intel, ready to be captured."

It doesn't have a proper ending nor is it telling me what the poem is based about.
If you want to post a poem it has it be atleast year 7-8 level

It is a never ending battle and it is based on the B.L.U. and R.E.D. teams fighting over the land.

[Future Dog]

I think the main issue I have with it is the rythym seems inconsistent, especially at the end. It feels rushed at the the end. Due to a limit on the construction, maybe? But otherwise I think it tells the tale well. You might want to remove the quotation marks after 2fort.