Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 9, 2014 @ 9:50pm
Hat Describing Contest: PART DEUX!
NOTE: The following discussion thread IS NOT any of the following:
A. Official.
B. A petition.
AND/OR
C. An attempt to start flame war, arguments...etc.
It IS however:
A. Open to all for ideas.
B. Request for Valve to consider.
AND/OR
C. . Interactive and fun!

With that said...
Members of the Team Fortress 2 Discussion Forums...we all have at least some hats and misc items, perhaps there are a few of you who are cosmetic collectors? We wouldn't be playing this game much if we didn't like the items our classes can wear at least a little bit right?
Regardless I want to ask you to take a good look at your small/medium/large/massive hat collection, namely those that you got between Halloween of 2013 and up through the recent strongbox releases, and tell me if you see anything missing...don't worry I'll give you a moment
♪Jeopardy Theme♬
Do you see? There are no descriptions! 102 Scream Fortress 2013 items, 32 Smissmas items and 43 Strongbox items to this date are without descriptions! 177 items in total! And that's not including the many other items prior to these recent releases that still are without descriptions! (See both Demoman's Fro & Pyro's Beanie, both are now retired items!)

Now let me make this abundantly clear...
I AM NOT BLAMING, ACCUSING OR TRYING TO CRITICIZE VALVE FOR THIS IN ANY WAY
I am merely stating what I noticed and would like to offer a solution that can not only fix these issues, but also help Valve ease their work load and also get the community involved besides making more workshop items to be put into the game. I think we as a community need to nip this in the bud and give Valve a helping hand! I am therefore "suggesting" (again not petitioning for) the revival of an old contest to make sure all items have a description of some sort.
Some of you TF2 Veterans might have already gathered what I am speaking of by the title of the thread alone, for you newer players (since 2011 forward) For your consideration (and Valve's), Allow me to introduce:

~*~THE (unofficial) HAT DESCRIBING CONTEST: PART DEUX~*~

The submission suggestion rules are simple:
  • Give a brief, interesting description of the nondescript item in 75 words or less.
  • You must be the sole author of the description and the material must be original to you.
  • There is no clear winner or loser, everyone can participate by making their own descriptions or approving of others descriptions with a quoted text of the idea in their post and a simple "I Approve/^ this/That's a good one!/Me likely!" or any variation of approval.
  • Everyone is also welcome to make improvement suggestions, but keep them reasonable and respectful
    Lastly and MOST IMPORTANT
  • DO NOT DISRESPECT/INSULT/PUT DOWN/MOCK/ANY VARIATION OF ABUSE ANYONE'S SUBMISSION!!!

    I can't stress this enough people...remember, this is unofficial, so any suggestion a person makes here is for mere FUN! If you don't care for their idea, then don't respond! This is purely for the enjoyment of seeing creativity of the community! Why so serious?
    So without further ado...
    Lets get this (very unofficial and not any way a petition) contest going...for fun!

    Good Luck!
    Garen Laulbrei {✚}

    NOTE: For your convenience I have made the first ten posts on this thread into class-based lists of all the hats that need a description...trust me on this folks, you don't have to worry about not being able to find a favorite hat to add a description to...there are a TON to choose from!

    *SOURCES:
    http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Hat_Describing_Contest
    http://www.teamfortress.com/post.php?id=4245
    http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=960
Last edited by Dr. Garen Laulbrei; Feb 18, 2014 @ 5:02pm
Showing 1-15 of 93 comments
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Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 9, 2014 @ 9:59pm 
SCOUT:
Milkman
Flipped Trilby
Superfan
Essential Accessories
Bonk Boy
El Jefe
Wrap Battler
B-ankh!
Futankhamun
Flapjack
Chucklenuts
Sack Fulla Smissmas
Little Drummer Mann
Runner's Warm-Up
Scout Shako
Ticket Boy
Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 9, 2014 @ 9:59pm 
SOLDIER:
Lumbricus Lid
Grenadier's Softcap
Chieftain's Challenge
Dr's Dapper Topper
Defiant Spartan
Exquisite Rack
Hero's Hachimaki
Armored Authority
Fancy Dress Uniform
Jumper's Jeepcap
Stahlhelm
Idiot Box
Steel Pipes
Shoestring Budget
Infernal Impaler
War on Smissmas Battle Hood
War on Smissmas Battle Socks
Antarctic Parka
Marshall's Mutton Chops
Slo-Poke
Ground Control
The Killer's Kit
Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 9, 2014 @ 10:00pm 
PYRO:
Pyro's Beanie
Brigade Helm
The Attendant
Foster's Facade
Stockbroker's Scarf
Madame Dixie
Pyromancer's Mask
Prancer's Pride
Stately Steel Toe
Blazing Bull
Fallen Angel
Tail From the Crypt
Apparition's Aspect
The Last Breath
Cotton Head
Pop-Eyes
Blizzard Breather
Toy Tailor
Sub Zero Suit
Trail-Blazer
The Cute Suit
Sole Mate
Tiny Timber
Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 9, 2014 @ 10:00pm 
DEMOMAN:
Demoman's Fro
Glengarry Bonnet
Scotsman's Stove Pipe
Hustler's Hallmark
Prince Tavish's Crown
Sultan's Ceremonial
Tam O' Shanter
Hair of the Dog
Scottish Snarl
Pickled Paws
Pirate Bandana
Highland High Heels
Tartan Tyrolean
Bushi-Dou
The Dark Falkirk Helm
The Juggernaut Jacket
The Sangu Sleeves
The Sole Saviors
Stylish DeGroot
Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 9, 2014 @ 10:00pm 
HEAVY:
Football Helmet
Pugilist's Protector
Cadaver's Cranium
Coupe D'isaster
The Big Chief
Magnificent Mongolian
Copper's Hard Top
Security Shades
Pilotka
The Purity Fist
Can Opener
Soviet Stitch-Up
Steel-Toed Stompers
Weight Room Warmer
Dictator
Mann of the House
Minnesota Slick
Bullet Buzz
Combat Slacks
Eliminators Safeguard
Gone Commando
Heavy Lifter
Leftover Trap
Rat Stompers
Sammy Cap
Trash Man
War Goggles
Warmth Preserver
Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 9, 2014 @ 10:01pm 
ENGINEER:
Engineer's Cap
Buckaroos Hat
Industrial Festivizer
Prairie Heel Biters
Wingstick
Buzz Killer
Frontier Flyboy
Legend of Bugfoot
Special Eyes
Dogfighter
Face Full of Festive
Antarctic Researcher
Ein
Scotch Saver
Trencher's Topper
Trencher's Tunic
Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 9, 2014 @ 10:01pm 
MEDIC:
Vintage Tyrolean
Berliner's Bucket Helm
Blighted Beak
German Gonzila
Einstein
Dr. Gogglestache
Emerald Jarate
Dr. Whoa
A Brush With Death
The Medical Mystery
Slick Cut
Ward
Angel of Death
Mann of Reason
Nunhood
Colonel's Coat
Dough Puncher
Ruffled Ruprecht
Fashionable Megalomaniac
Gaiter Guards
Heat of Winter
Heer's Helmet
Mustachioed Mann
Smock Surgeon
Teutonic Toque
Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 9, 2014 @ 10:01pm 
SNIPER:
Ol' Snaggletooth
Larrikin Robin
Desert Marauder
The Anger
Holy Hunter
Silver Bullets
Garlic Flank Stake
Brim-Full of Bullets
Chronomancer
Randolph the Blood-Nosed Caribou
Smissmas Caribou
Extra Layer
Five-Month Shadow
Golden Garment
Snow Scoper
Toy Soldier
Archers Groundings
Deep Cover Operator
Huntsman's Essentials
Toowoomba Tunic
Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 9, 2014 @ 10:01pm 
SPY:
Familiar Fez
Détective Noir
Le Party Phantom
Rogue's Col Roule
The Nanobalaclava
Under Cover
Intangible Ascot
Griffin's Gog
Escapist
Frenchman's Formals
Dead of Night
Backstabber's Boomslang
Napolean Complex
Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 9, 2014 @ 10:02pm 
ALL CLASS:
Mann Co. Cap
Ellis' Cap
Polycount Pin
Dueling Badges
Halloween Masks
Saxton Hale Mask
Genuine Companion Cube Pin
Bounty Hat
Treasure Hat
World Traveler's Hat
A Rather Festive Tree
Humanitarian's Hachimaki
Benefactor's Kanmuri
Magnanimous Monarch
Resurrection Associate Pin
The Company Man
The Deus Specs
Party Hat
Manniversary Paper Hat
Mark of the Saint
MVM Badges
Mann Co. Online Cap
Hong Kong Cone
Heart of Gold
Kiss King
Neckwear Headwear
Polar Pullover
Law

AND TO TOP IT OFF:

NEARLY ALL SCREAM FORTRESS (2011-2013) ITEMS (list too long to be posted!)
Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 9, 2014 @ 11:10pm 
I suppose I'll get things started with a few of my favorites:

ALL CLASS = Kiss King: Wear this hat with caution! On a battlefield of seven other manly mercs and one unknown mumbling...thing; you are likely to get strange looks...or killed

ALL CLASS = Ellis' Cap: I ever tell you about the time me and my buddy Keith got stuck smack dab in middle of a gang war? Its true! There was one team, they were all dressed in Red right? The other all in Blue and they were all wearing these weird hats n' stuff and fighting over land or something. Oh yeah! Thats also how I got this hat!

SNPER = The Anger: It doesn't look like it when you see it up close, or even from a distace, but trust us, under that cover, you ain't gonna find anything resembling a smile.

MEDIC = A Brush With Death: As everyone knows, Fraulines love a man with a beard. Oh and eye-scars! They really swoon for eye-scars!

MEDIC = Teutonic Toque: Unlike that "other" chef, the Medic does judge...he judges quite hashly.

ENGINEER = Prairie Heel Biters: I got spurs that jingle jangle jingle! And Jab...and cut...and slice...and...





Last edited by Dr. Garen Laulbrei; Feb 10, 2014 @ 9:42am
Doonies Feb 9, 2014 @ 11:18pm 
♥♥♥♥ing, 11 posts and they are all your's. I find that somewhat funny.
Well, I might as well start this off.


Originally posted by Garen Laulbrei {✚}:
NEARLY ALL SCREAM FORTRESS (2011-2013) ITEMS (list too long to be posted!)
Magical Merecenary:
"When killing doesn't work, you can always try loving and tolerating the heck out of your enemies! You can also try impaling them with the horn, but then you'd get blood in your mane."

INB4 Flamewar.
Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 10, 2014 @ 8:08am 
Originally posted by Doonies Da Pie:
Magical Merecenary:
"When killing doesn't work, you can always try loving and tolerating the heck out of your enemies! You can also try impaling them with the horn, but then you'd get blood in your mane."

INB4 Flamewar.

^That last thing is what I'm really trying to prevent...but hey good description! I assume we are going to be getting a lot of 'em for that particular hat. Bright side...you got there FIRST!!!
Last edited by Dr. Garen Laulbrei; Feb 10, 2014 @ 8:09am
Dr. Garen Laulbrei Feb 10, 2014 @ 8:44am 
Heres another that I thought would be fun.
SPY = Backstabber's Boomslang: A Snake? Why did it have to be a snake you ask? Well thats obvious, like the spy they are not to be trusted, they are sneaky, often prone to trickery and have a certain air of class to them. So we ask you, why not a snake?
Last edited by Dr. Garen Laulbrei; Feb 10, 2014 @ 8:44am
A local lawyer Feb 10, 2014 @ 8:45am 
OH HOLY SH*T THAT IS THE BIGGEST WALL OF TEXT IVE SEEN SO FAR. NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE *Begins to slowly walk back*
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Date Posted: Feb 9, 2014 @ 9:50pm
Posts: 93