Since TF2 is already so P2ERBNBF2P (Pay-to-Earn-Respect-By-Not-Being-Free-to-Play), we might as well just make TF2 officially P2W! Here's my idea... (I'm pretty sure VALVe will accept this if they see it, as they'll profit a lot if they do.)
1) All F2P players have their names automatically changed to "Fucking Furfag" when they join a server, and P2P bots that replace their P2P owners automatically hurl insults at F2Ps, literally. Insults insta-kill.
2) The richer you are, the better you look in-game, right? Now, the richer you are, the better you are in-game! You deal damage based on the Backpack.tf value of your backpack, so the richer the better!
3) Unusuals deal damage! You can "activate" your Unusual with a special key, and it'll perform a special class ability that looks different from a cosmetic point of view, but works the same - all F2Ps in the enemy team, all around the map (even in the enemy Resupply Room) get killed. Instantly.
Rate my brilliance!
I'm an F2P...
Pressed for time? Read here: Just type "10/10" into the comments below, thanks much.