A poem, of past and present with horsemen (spear men on horses)

[Centurion Exanthos]

There once was a horseman named Rob,
He rode a charger named Bob,
every day he took up a lance,
To do, his deadly dance,
On the battlefields,
At Mortimier's Cross.

O'er the mounds of dirt,
Through the paltry fields of wheat,
Rob on Bob went,
To spear the Yorkists,
And the Landcasrians,
Through their skulls!
Glory to Rob!
Glory to Bob!
He became the king's royal Kight,
Where he gave his enemies a fright,
And when they saw him,
They took flight!

But one day,
The king's royal jester,
Became of lesser renown than Rob,
He grew so jealous,
That he told Rob,
"If you can spear 500 men with an footman's spear, you shall be known all across the world as a man of the greatest worth,"
Naturally Rob took up the challenge,
As did his friends,
And their friends,
So Rob and Bob rode forth,
With the short spear of the watchman named Vorth,
To Mortimier's Cross went Rob.

O'er the mounds of dirt,
Through paltry fields of wheat,
Rob and Bob went with the foot man's spear,
But woe poor Rob,
As he takes his first strike at the throat of a foot knight,
And woe poor Bob,
For it was he who made the thunderous charge,
First, the spear was so heavy it hit the breastplate at the force of a train that hits a mountain,
Second, Rob screams out in horror, (a feat he has never done)
To look at the protruding bones that pierced his chainmail,
That were his own!
And as he plumeted from poor Bob,
To the ground so hard,
He cursed the jester's name,
For he tricked him to use a spear,
So woe poor Rob,
And woe poor Bob for his neck and legs were broken from the impact.

And still the slow witted knights try to achieve the unachievable feat,
And still the Kings of the tiny world of England (developers) don't stop the slow witted knights frome killing themselfes (and their horses) upon the words of a crule jester,
And the unrealism of the spearmen on horses!

[Centurion Exanthos]

I decided to be creative, instaed of presenting facts about spears and horses (i did almost three paragraphes, but accidentaly pressed the back arrow and it got deleted)

[eOrder of Trolls]

There are many problems with your poem :) Firstly, it isn't a good poem (if you really want to call it that). Secondly, why would he use a spear on a horse for the first time while in combat? Wouldn't he have trained first? Of course we have to think of this without the jester... actually even with the jester it is still a good question. Why didn't he practice spearing people from horseback before he rode into battle?

Well I thought the poem (still want to call it that?) was awesome. After going through posts that feature liberal amounts of General Sherman and jackx with their walls of unfunny texts, this was a pleasant surprise. I do not agree with the point you were trying to make as I heard that two hand weapons will soon no longer be allowed to be used on horseback... don't know if this is fact.

[[OT]GunFred]

Very amusing texts you wrote there. :D

I leave the spears to the queers (see what I did there?). I still use my trusted non-♥♥♥♥♥ shaped halberd when mounted with great success. Maybe the halberd is weaker than spears but its sexuality is less questionable and sometimes it only takes 2 hits plus that extra range helps a lot when taking down lancers.

[Centurion Exanthos]

I was trying to say, if you spear someone from horseback (in real life) going fast, you will usally get unhoresed and/or break something because the spear is solid and won't break on impact, same with the halberd. Lances are hollow, they break, so you don't have to.

[[OT]Heros Ignotus]

Spears are not solid at all. Do you really think that the knights have been that dumb to use lances when spears would be better.. Even knights did not want to die in a battle. If you are not good enough to use a lanc then learn it

[Centurion Exanthos]

I can use lance just fine! and spears are solid, and heavy, and were not used by knights on horseback! (in real life, and the developers clearly want to try to make a realistc game)

[[OT]Heros Ignotus]

Of course there have been special lances..
They looked more similar to normal spears than the lances in WotR - but these lances have not been nornal spears.
And it does not make sense that lances do break and spears and so on do not break. This is not realistic at all. As long as weapons break while parrying...

[Lord Stein the Rook [GBS]]

Nice poem, I laughed at the end in hopes of one day that happens to Winter.