61 of 67 people (91%) found this review helpful 15 people found this review funny
0.4 hrs on record
Posted: December 3, 2013
My wife is barren, and my seed is weak. Alas, we remain a childless couple. The fates would have us living in a near empty household, if not for the generosity of a dear friend. Upon returning to my manse, I was delighted to hear sounds of children coming from my study. Were they my nieces and nephews? The cries of babes dashed that thought, for the offspring of my brothers and sisters are but a few years shy of adulthood. I ventured into my favourite room to find my wife at the computer. "Diaper Dash!" she exclaimed happily. Seeing my quizzical expression, she continued: "One of your Steam friends gifted it to you - thinking it would make a good prank." Laughing, I hugged my wife - both happy for her enthusiasm and the sounds of children in the house, digital though they might be. "You may be barren," said I, "but no longer is our house barren of the simple and modest joys of infants."
I then pulled up a chair and joined my wife in a 5-minute session of Diaper Dash. As one who is used to indepth strategy, I easily worked out how to play the game. Nor being no stranger to the demands of modern gaming I had no concerns with the level of multitasking required. Whilst the graphics are childish, music uninspired, and a lack of complexity in the gameplay, it more than makes up for the eternally sad fact that my partner and I are unable to have children. Hence, if your wife is barren, you can do no less a greater thing than to purchase Diaper Dash. Some would love their offspring to remain eternally youthful; I can assure, good sirs and madams, that this game (as expected, given the title) only deals with infants - and the tribulations associated with them.
However, if you indeed have children, or are expecting a child, I urge you to play the game, for to abstain would also remove you of the chance to become better at managing infants. In fact, I would hazard the opinion that maternity centres and colleges are less capable of educating you as a parent than this esteemed game.
13 of 18 people (72%) found this review helpful 3 people found this review funny
10.6 hrs on record
Posted: June 23, 2011
Please buy this game, It packs a great story line, intense graphics, keeps you playing and always gets you busy (if u kno what i mean witht he babys and poo poo) If u are like me and love to feed diapers and babys and clean up after them then buy this game p.s. the babys are cute :-)
5 of 10 people (50%) found this review helpful 1 person found this review funny
0.2 hrs on record
Posted: December 31, 2011
Just wow, things are just off the chain man. These babies are just absolutely tearing ♥♥♥♥ UP both figuratively AND literally. It's your job as Phineas G. Rapplebottom III to stop these mean ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥s from wrecking the earth even more than they already have. Using the protoype D.A.S.H weapon designed for one intent, it's your job to eviscerate every baby on the planet.
This game seems simple and casual upon first inspection but underneath this colorful facade you will discover a dark and twisted world like no other. Corporations experimenting on babies fire their assistant who curiously ruins an experiment simply by picking up the baby and in his confused misery following termination he seeks advice from a local surly waitress named "Flo." Wilson, the assistant in question, goes on to start his own daycare in his sister's basement which develops a massive following in a matter of days. He eventually is in charge of caring for hundreds of babies a day with the help of his robots who don't perform their primary and only duties all that well. WIlson also has a strange habit of throwing away all his money and extra equipment that cost him thousands of dollars as well as downgrading all his machines the second he moves into a bigger working space. The fact that this clearly insane man who is borderline sexually obsessed with machines can have so much responsibility leads to questions regarding what kind of world these people live in. Where you pay upwards of $2000 to have a "friendly smile" which magically encourages people to give you more money. There's also the fact that fully clothed toddlers are thrown in with the other babies that causes some bewilderment. Welcome to the dark world of Diaper Dash. I sincerely hope this wins Game of the Year because it has one of the most unique and intriguing storylines I have seen in 2010. I highly recommend this addicting game.