8 of 10 people (80%) found this review helpful 5 people found this review funny
2.7 hrs on record
Posted: December 3, 2013
This is one of my favorite games of all time. Not because it is fun, challenging, or well written but because it is so completely awful that I couldn't imagine why anyone would have thought anything like Iron Roses should even exist. This product of the obviously insane software studio that brought forth this crime against humanity made me laugh uncontrollably. The main character, a detestable self-entitled hipster/rocker, embarks on an epic quest to "get the old band back together" because her drag roommate wants her rent money. This game involves tedious minigames, and fetch quests (find 9 coffee cups) with some occasional Guitar Hero stuff. Most of the game involves garbage. From the walk through: Use the broom on the garbage on the floor. Return to the stage and take the garbage bag. Look at the garbage bag from inventory. Put the garbage in the dumpster. Look in the garbage for a rotten tomato. Search the garbage bags for the winning bottle cap. Take the garbage bag and look at it inside of your inventory. Exit the garbage bag. Walk to the stage and take the garbage bag. Look at the garbage bag inside your inventory but there is nothing of worth there. Walk to the lobby and take the two bags of garbage. Exit the club via the back entrance and put all four garbage bags into the dumpster. Take the printer cable out of the trash can. It seems that our hero's arch-nemesis is anyone who disposes of trash properly. Also everything seems to be in bad shape: His lyrics were torn up and tossed down the alley. Locate the six pieces of the broken drumsticks. You notice that Adrian is missing his favorite necklace and you locate it broken on the floor. Locate the six pieces of the guard’s glasses. Click on the broken guitars to activate a mini-game. Is this an existential reflection of our hero's broken dreams? My favorite was finding the 6 pieces of broken drumsticks because when you bring them in for repairs the music store employee says the sticks are not repairable and charges you fifty dollars for new ones. Hahaha, $50? Man, I love this game. Even the names of the characters are awesome: Crash, Zvone, Dude, Adrian (Adrian?). When I finished the game (in 2.7 hours Steam tells me) I was rewarded with a song that was skipable. I skipped it. I recommend that everyone buy this game but only as a backhanded gift for those you despise.