Indsendt: 18. december
I am the General from Hell, Shanon'ei or something. Even though I am pretty uninteresting except for being very good at anime, games and being lazy, my ability to be serious for a few minutes and not act careless to my soldiers has made me the perfect anime protagonist for every girl I come across to either want me or to pretend not to want me.
My side kicks are Chiko, the cooky amazing genius who can assemble anything once someone bothers to ask her, Satou, the stereotypical mother who fusses over the protagonist while also wanting to chow down on his joystick and Heshiko, the comedic foil to everyone elses comedic antics.
The game becomes a game of hide and seek where the first people to find the other gets the kill. It's turned based, but also works in real time, so you wander out and hang about for a few minutes while people walk up to you and shoot you in the face. If you're lucky, the person next to you may decide to shoot them first, or they may just watch you die in an explosion with joy.
Basically, stick your Command Tank in the back of the field, and then begin a thorough carpet bombing of the area with your insanely overpowered tanks. If you're not quite over-powered enough, you can grind, but honestly, the game throws resources at you that you'll not fall behind the power curve. Occasionally, the game will mix it up, but eventually you'll discover that nothing is as good as area of effect attacks, since they have all the benefits of a single shot but all the benefits of levelling a quarter of the stage in a single shot, killing everything that you may or may not have known is there.
You have suicide units... in a game which limits how many tanks you can take. A one-use unit, or a tank which can flatten a street is your choice. I think I may have the suicide unit twice in the game. As they ran up the enemy, they were shot. Huh.
It's a pretty fun game, you can run it in a window and listen to a podcast (I like to think this was the equivalent of me in the game basically saying "Time to win this war... Satou, have the entire army bomb the crap out of the enemy. I'll be here fiddling with my iPod and listening to Queen. Let me know if something happens). This is not a bad side; it's engaging enough and quick enough that you can fit it in between sessions or a lunch break or during a Skype conversation where the Internet keeps breaking.
As for the story, well, there is a Royal Army and an Imperial Army in a land of Japon, not Japan, Japon. The two armies are effectively indistinguishable, you fight them because... well, they're on the other side of the battlefield and that's the point of the game. There seems to be some kind of underlying conversation about whether or not a Human Tank is actually worth treating well, but it's hard to tell a deep conversation while you're also have a little power fantasy and then your Command Tank walks in and it's funny because she is stupid or something.
Oh, the whole Human Tanks thing? Basically, tanks don't work anymore, so they decided to make anime girls fight each other with weapons and call them tanks, a slight lobotomy to reduce initiative and then a tendency to explode if someone looks at them; later you can get tanks that require to be hit in four places to die, and as long as you bomb the enemy first, most of them should make it through.
It's a nice little game, and I had fun, and that's enough. I'd say £5 or whatever heathen money you use is definitely worth getting it. It has a New Game Plus and alternative endings, but the gameplay isn't THAT good and neither is the story. But it is solid and the anime is nice, and it doesn't have any bloody panty-shots, so it's the good kind of anime, not the kind that governments seem to be trying to outlaw recently.